|Dan Hibiki VS Speedwagon|
|Season 1, Episode 11|
|Air date||October 21, 2015|
|Meat VS Spinal||God Emperor of Mankind VS Dark Schneider|
Street Fighter VS Jojo's Bizarre Adventure! Which jobber will win? Will Dan get a win at last? Or will Speedwagon put an end to Hibiki's misery?
Myth: How did you convince me to do this?
Soul: DUDE, THIS IS SOOOOOO HYPE. Now get onto the fight.
Myth: Fine then... ahem. Incompetent. Pathetic. Failure. These words are the text book definition of a loser.
Soul: Yeah, theres those but then theres these two who are nowhere NEAR that definition!
Myth: Wait wha-
Soul: Dan Hibiki, the Saikyo Street Fighter.
Myth: And Speedwagon, the-
Soul: KING OF THE FUCKING BADASSES.
Myth: I think... you an idiot.
Soul: SHUT UP, LETS DO THIS. FATAL FICTION ANALYSIS, WOO.
Dan Hibiki Edit
- Name: Dan Hibiki
- Height: 5'10'' | 177 cm
- Weight: 163 lbs. | 74 kg
- Occupation: Dojo Master of the Saikyō-ryū style
- Theme: Super Street Fighter IV - Dan Hibiki's Theme
- Defeated Chun-Li, Balrog, and M. Bison
- Defeated Sagat to avenge his father
- Trained by Gouken
- Does well in average street fighting competitions
- Merged Anatsuken with Muay Thai to form his own martial art
- Can channel the Satsui no Hado, the darkest ki in the Street Fighter universe
- Trained Sakura Kasugano and Jimmy Blanka
Myth: Son of Go Hibiki, Dan Hibiki would be destined to become... a lackluster martial artist.
Soul: Nice joke.
Soul: Haven't you seen the secret ending to Street Fighter?! The one where Dan kills Akuma, Seth, Bison-
Myth: Please stop. Anyways, one day, Sagat showed up... and killed Go Hibiki. Still, Go managed to punch out one of his eyes so there's that.
Soul: Ever since then, Dan swore vengeance upon Sagat.
- Can destroy a car with his bare hands and feet
- Can hit people so hard they fly into the air
- More or less comparable to all other Street Fighters
- Dan uses a quick, agile form of fighting that pins foes in a corner
- Taught Blanka how to roll properly
- Can survive the lethal attacks of other Street Fighters
- Once survived a full 'Final Atomic Buster', which cracked solid concrete on his head
- Knocked him out
Myth: Dan is... well- OH, his stats aren't complete garbage! He can rip apart cars with nothing but his fists and tanked Zangief piledriving him. Granted, it knocked him out but impressive, regardless.
Soul: Stop lowballing Dan.
- Based off of the Tatsumaki
Myth: Dan knows the Gadoken. Its a projectile- no, okay, it isn't a projectile. It barely goes anywhere. It goes a few inches forward and then vanishes. It SUCKS!
Soul: ENOUGH OF YOUR LOWBALLING. Dan knows the Koryuken, a rising uppercut! The Dankukyaku-
Myth: HE NAMED A MOVE AFTER HIMSELF?!
Soul: PETTY WORDS ARE NOT ENOUGH TO DESCRIBE DAN'S MOVES. The Dankukyaku is a move Dan learned to knee and kick people with!
Super Combos Edit
- Only used when victory is assured
Myth: Dan knows some Super Moves. The Koryu Rekka is a Koryuken that hits more. The Shinku Gadoken is... basically a Super Gadoken. The Hissho Buraiken is a flurry of close ranged punches and kicks.
Soul: Lastly? Dan's trump card. The Legendary Taunt. Dan taunts his opponent. Why? Hibiki's opponents are unworthy of being damaged by him.
Ultra Combos Edit
Shisso Buraiken Edit
- Powerful set of kicks and punches, ending in a Gadoken
- Ends with a smile and a thumbs-ups
Haoh Gadoken Edit
- Full, super powered Gadoken
- Shoots Dan back, implying he cannot take the power
- Limited range
Otoko Michi Edit
- Designed after Akuma's Shun Goku Satsu
- After rushing a foe, Dan basically hugs them and envelops them in a ball of energy
- The energy explodes, dealing significant damage to both characters
- Hurts Dan more than the other guy
- Actually superior damage than the Shun Goku Satsu
Myth: Dan knows some Ultra Combos-
Soul: The fuck?! This Killer Instinct?!
Myth: The Shisso Buraiken is a powerful set of kicks and punches and ends in a Gadoken. The Haoh Gadoken is a powerful Gadoken.
Soul: Lastly? Dan knows the Otoko Michi. This move is similar to Akuma's Shun Goku Satsu but GUESS FUCKING WHAT. IT DOES MORE DAMAGE THAN THE ACTUAL SHUN GOKU SATSU ITSELF.
- Very overconfident
- Gadoken lacks range
Myth: Dan is fucking weak, okay-
Soul: Dan hangs out with Sakura. He already gets more pussy than you. Fuck, he gets more than god damn Akuma technically. Hows this make you feel?
Soul: I fucking thought so. Anyways, if you ever want to hope to live, I suggest you stay the FUCK out of Dan's way. 'sides, he gets more pussy than you. Who's the joke character now, Akuma?
Myth: Us. We petty human beings are the joke.
Soul: Damn straight.
Dan: "Sagaaaaaaaaaaat!! You killed my FATHER!! Remember my name before you die! I am Dan Hibiki!! I am the strongest martial artist! Feel my wrath!!"
First Appearance: "Jojo's Bizarre Adventure" (1987) Full Name: Robert Edward .O Speedwagon Alignment: Good Theme: JoJo's Bizarre Adventure - Eyes of Heaven
- Started his own street gang
- Killed zombies
- Joined Jonathan Joestar on his adventures
- In Part 2, Speedwagon owned the Speedwagon Foundation
Myth: Robert Edward O. Speedwagon grew up on Ogre Street. He stole things from other people and eventually started a gang with some dude with an unknown name and a guy named Tattoo.
Soul: Who names their kid... Tattoo?
Myth: Eventually, Speedwagon met Jonathan Joestar and his life changed forever. After Jojo beat him up, Speedwagon admired the man that he basically-
Soul: Became his buttbuddy?
- Killed redshirt Dio zombies who are above humans by four times
- Should be building level
- Kept up with bullet timing vampires
- Tanked a part of the Joestar Mansion's hall blowing up
Soul: Speedwagon killed Novel Kars.
Myth: Please kill yourself. Anyways, Speedwagon can kill zombies and kept up with vampires who could dodge bullets. He even tanked a large part of a hall exploding!
Buzzsaw Hat Edit
- Disguised as a regular hat
- Has sharp blades
- Capable of flight and can be directed like a boomerang
- Can kill zombies with this weapon
Soul: Motherfucking Oddjob right here.
Myth: Well, yeah. His hat secretly is sharp enough to cut through human flesh. Even after he replaced his hat, he still keeps his old one as a weapon. He also owns a Sledgehammer to smash enemies.
- Somewhat cowardly: Sometimes, he can overcome this fear
- Doesn't really fight: Has worked up the courage to do so, however
Soul: Speedwagon has no weaknesses.
Myth: Kill yourself. Speedwagon is a bit of a coward and he rarely fights. That's it, really.
Soul: Your lying. Speedwagon is perfect.
Speedwagon: "Good show!"
Fatal Fiction Edit
Soul: TIME FOR SOME HYPE, YO. FATAL FICTION, MOTHERFUCKERS.
A man in the pink gi with a ponytail had arrived on Ogre Street. He had heard that this was where Sagat was.
There eternal duel would finally be settled here, once and for all.
...its too bad it was night time and snowing very hard. Dan was shivering beyond belief.
He turned to see a group of three people charging him. These fellas looked nice. "Hey, do you guys know where-"
Dan was interrupted by one of them jumping upward and coming down with his knife, ready to cut Hibiki!
Dan quickly ducked underneath Tattoo's strike... who proceeded to go flying into the wall behind Dan and knock himself out.
The next member dashed at Dan-
Only to trip on a rock, fall forward... and fall on the floor, face-first. He was down.
Dan gave a thumbs up and said, "Yeah! Thats what you get for messing with the greatest martial artist in the world!"
Hibiki turned to see the leader of the thugs. He wore a suit, a purple jacket, a hat and had long, yellow hair.
"Who are you even?" Dan asked.
"You don't know? I'm the interfering Speedwagon!" He answered.
Dan stopped and looked in shock. This guy's name! Even it sounds intimidating! He thought. Alright, Dan. Keep calm.
"Ha! Speed...who?" Dan said. "The only thing speedy will be how fast I'm gonna beat you!"
Dan pulled his fist back and dashed forward. Speedwagon did the same and punched forward as well!
And the other missed as well. There fists weren't stretched out enough. Well, this was embarrassing.
Quickly, the two pulled back their fists and-
Smashed into each other fists. They both fell back and rubbed their aching hands. Damn, this guy is good! Dan thought. Hibiki was still a quick man. He turned back and smashed his fist into Speedwagon's back! He began rapidly punching Robert in the back before ending it with a deadly uppercut!
Speedwagon landed on the streets below and howled in pain. His back ached but he stood up.
"Ha! Amazed you still have the guts to fight the- hey! What are you-"
Speedwagon blitzed forward, pulled back his fist and smashed it into Dan's nose. Blood covered Speedwagon as Dan was sent tumbling to the floor. "OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!" Hibiki screeched as Speedwagon picked him up by his collar and lifted him upward. Robert smashed his fist into Dan's face. Again.
Hibiki was sent flying. This guy's no joke. Hibiki thought. Hes crazy strong. Is he even human?! Looks like I'm gonna have to pull off... the ULTIMATE MOVE.
Dan stood up and stared Speedwagon down. "Prepare to die to my ultimate move!"
Suddenly, Dan pumped his fist into the air and said, "Here I come!" He rolled forward and unleashed a battlecry. With each roll, Dan said something.
"Whats the problem?"
"Don't underestimate me!"
Suddenly, Hibiki jumped directly over Speedwagon's head and yelled, "Piece of Cake!"
He landed on the other side of Robert and flashed a thumbs up. He then smiled like the nice guy he was.
Speedwagon's jaw dropped. "E-e-even... Speedwagon is impressed!"
Dan was happy. The fight was now in his favor... if this was even a fight anymore. Speedwagon seemed to horrified to continue. His bones shook in fear. Robert gulped nervously. Dan dashed forward and stopped as soon as he reached Speedwagon.
Poor Robert didn't know what hit him.
Dan kneeled down and jabbed Speedwagon in the stomach three times before smashing a fist into his chin! To finish this, he yelled, "Booyah!" as he smashed his fist into Speedwagon's chest! The poor owner of the Speedwagon Foundation was sent soaring.
As Speedwagon stood once more, he noticed something about the Saikyo Fighter. He wasn't moving. He was merely standing as he began glowing with power. "PREPARE TO DIE!"
Speedwagon began nervously biting his fingernails. Oh no! Why?! Why me?! He thought. I need to man up!
Dan had finally charged his ultimate technique.
Speedwagon interrupted his attack and smashed his fist into Dan's face! "Ouch!" Dan yelped. He clutched his nose and then realized that it was bleeding. "You... you cheater! You don't attack someone while there doing an awesome atta-"
Once again, Robert didn't care. He smashed his fist into Dan's cheek. Hibiki stumbled back. He spat out some teeth before turning his head back to Speedwagon. "Okay... clearly, you don't know patience... therefore..." He pumped his fist up. "I'll beat it into you!"
Dan yelled this.
Only for Speedwagon to smash another fist into his face. The poor Street Fighter fell to the ground. He stood up. "THAT'S IT! NO MORE MR. NICE DAN! I WILL NO LONGER BE HIT BY YOUR ATTACKS!"
He pulled his fists back as they began to gather ki. "Ga..."
He thrusted his hand forward and then-
A small energy blast flew forward. It dissipated. Not even a whole two seconds went by before it vanished.
Even Speedwagon laughed at it. "Stop laughing! STOP LAUGHING!" Dan jumped upward and came down with a divekick-
Only for Speedwagon to duck and Dan go flying, completely missing him. He stubbed his toe and clutched it. "OW! IT HURTS! I NEED SOME MEDICAL ATTENTION!"
Speedwagon reached onto his back and... then pulled out a large, heavy sledgehammer. He dashed forward and yelled, "Hiya!"
He slammed it into Dan's nose, sending the poor man flying! Upon landing, Dan slowly stood up and shook his head. "You... you might be good-"
"Time to cut you down!" Speedwagon said. He touched his hat... and then, it fell apart, revealing that it was now bladed and ready to hurt. "Goodbye, Daaaaan!" Speedwagon yelled as he tossed his hat forward. Dan put up his arms-
It didn't matter. They dug into his arm, ripping it apart. Blood flew everywhere. He fell on his back, gasping for air. Speedwagon walked forward and pulled his hat out of Dan Hibiki's arm. He put it on before smirking and walking away, confident of his victory.
Soul: Oh, uh, that was a little short.
Myth: Yeah... it was. So why did Speedwagon win? Wel̵̸͇̰͓̱̯̦̮̝̠̙̦ļ҉̵̸̠̮̝̫̪̮̺̜͈̟͙̕,͇̞̥̮̰̕͠͝ s̕҉͏̖̺̳̬̙͙̼͉͡ì̵̛̦͔̯̖̦̜̱̩̪̦̻͞ͅm̴̛̤͖͇͍̖͓͇̗̳̯͈͟͜p̷̧̡̼̺̻̥̥̣̲̺̪͉̜͔͔̫͎͢l̀͟҉҉̗̪̯͈̻̫̜̱̖̞͇e͏̴̡̣̹͎͍̹̻̫̱̱̱͈̖͘͢ͅͅ.̷̵̷̪̩̖̬̬͚̩͓͢ S̲̙̤͍̣͍͖͚̣̱̕p̮̞̦͔̘̬̦̦̠̮͔͕̬͓̬͕͘͘͢e̶̛͕͉̗̟̥͉̲̞͙̩͚͉͉͍̗̙̯̕ͅͅe̼͕̪̮̖̻̦̞͙͢͡͠ͅd̶̨̲̤̟̘ẃ̸̶̡͖̺̣̯̯͉̼̻̠͉̳͙͚̱̕ą̝͙̩͎̗͡g͏̷̱͎̜͕ờ̳̜̜̻̝̘̺̻̝̰͉̪͠n̷̢̡͓̖̟̤̟̰̠̜̼͍͚̱͈ͅ ̴̷̢̛͕͇͍̗̻͔̟̣͇̼̠͚̣͝w͘͞͏͇̤̮̯̮̟͓͖͈͈͈͢ͅá̧͖͕̫͔̩̼̻͔͎̘̹̫͍́͡͡s͏̵̨̜͕̳͓̞̠͕͖̲̼̻̱̜ t͏̡̘̗͇̦͎̰̻͇͎̳͈̠͓̳̮̪͙̘̞͠o̵̡̨̱͚̱͍̻̻͉̰͚̗͔̦̯ò̵̡̩̠̮͓̞̞̳̫̺̰͙̙̪̣́ͅ ṕ̧̫̦̫͔̥̭̱̗̠͢͡o̡҉̨̧͉̳͎̹̠͞w̸̥̼̞͎̫̯̯ḙ̵̵͉̰̙̼̯͙͚̘͉̹̯̫̲̤͓̻ŕ̝̺͎̥̯̟̗̣̫͙͔͇̱͓̘̺̟̕f̨͢͠͞҉̳͉̙͚͎u̸͍͈̖͕̭̭̜̪ͅĺ̴̢̖̺̥̥̤́ ̨͇̱͚̟͕̪͕̲̙͉̝̱̮̹͚̭͚́͞f̷̰̜͈̣̘͜o̴̷̦͔̼̥̝͘͟͢r̷̸͓̭͓̗͔̜̗̫̣͉̝̠͔ D̵̵̵̟̝͍̺̠͍͍̥̮̖̩̦͠ͅͅa͏̤̜͙̮͜n̨̡̛͈̞̪͓̼͎͚̬ t͘͞҉̟͕̲̙̖̙͙͖͚͡o҉̢̮̹͓̗ ẖ̵̮̥̰͚͙̥͉̯̱͓́͘ą̢̱̯͎͍̲̗̳͔̩́́n͉̤̞͇̖̮̞̣̠̖̙̤̗̩͢͜ͅͅd̵̵̰̥͕̘̩͜͟
Dan choked on his blood as he ached in mad pain. He refused to die. NO, NOT LIKE THIS.
As Speedwagon walked away, he saw a tall man with an eyepatch on. He had no hair and he wore no shirt. This was Sagat.
"Hey!" Speedwagon said, catching Sagat's attention. He prepared his hat to cut the man alive... but then Sagat laughed and punched his fists together. Speedwagon stopped for a second.
Perhaps he was fighting outside of his weight class... Sagat slowly stepped forward... but then? Something tapped him on the shoulder.
And saw a fist uppercut upwards and rip out his other eye effortlessly. Sagat roared in furious pain as he clutched his eye socket. He couldn't see. The next thing he saw?
Speedwagon looked in shock and horror as he saw the man who killed Sagat. He had his back turned with a '父'-symbol on it. He soon realized who it was. It was Dan Hibiki. He was pissed. The Satsui No Hado had consumed him.
What did he feel?
He turned to Speedwagon... and then yelled the following words.
"For. MY. FAAAAAAAAAAATHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRR!!!!!!!!!"
"Even Speedwagon is afraid!"
Dan grumbled in furious rage. "I AM DAN HIBIKI AND I WILL SHOW YOU THE MEANING OF BEING AWESOME!"
He blitzed forward and smashed his fist into Speedwagon's chest. Speedwagon coughed up blood like a madman but then was thrown forward and directly through a cobblestone wall.
He quickly climbed on top of Speedwagon and began rapidly punching his face. With each punch, Speedwagon yelled in pain. Dan pulled back his fist for a second and stared into Speedwagon's eyes. He had a black eye and was slowly closing them...
Hibiki stood up and roared in victory.
He turned to leave Speedwagon to die...
(Cues: Unknown Theme)
Speedwagon began to close his eyes.
Was this truly the end?
It seemed it.
He couldn't fight this man- no, this monster any longer. It had transcended his own limits.
...but did it truly? Was this all Robert had left in him?
Suddenly, Speedwagon saw an image go through his head...
His gang members... they had also lost to this monster... but they weren't dead. They could still be saved.
Slowly, hope began to crawl into Speedwagon's body.
Then... he remembered two other men. Ones who changed his life forever.
...Will A. Zeppeli...
The two men who he had befriended...
Speedwagon's legs began to move.
Suddenly, Robert Edward O. Speedwagon's heart began pounding! He felt all the power inside of him began to radiate!
No longer would he fail to fight, it was his time to shine!
He stood up and saw the demonic Dan and pointed his finger at him. "Hey you!"
Hibiki turned around and grumbled in annoyance.
"I'm tired of standing back and letting others fight. Today, that changes. I, the interfering Speedwagon will stop you because..."
Speedwagon pointed his finger forward.
"Even Speedwagon can kick your ass!"
(Cues: Unknown Theme)
Dan dashed forward as did Speedwagon and both punched forward. Their fists smashed into each other. Speedwagon's shattered but he kept fighting back, he refused to lose!
Pulling back his other fist, Dan slammed it directly into Robert's stomach! The poor man was sent flying as Dan grinned. Time to finish this.
He tucked his hands in then blitzed forward! The Raging Demon was ready. Hibiki closed in...
A second too late.
Speedwagon ducked underneath Dan's arms and came up with a powerful headbutt! The martial artist covered his now broken nose. He then pulled his hand away from his nose and looked at it.
It was covered in blood.
"PETTY FOOL! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THE AWESOMENESS OF SAIKYO! HIYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"
Dan jumped sky-high and came down with a powerful dropkick! Anything in his path would break. Everything... except Speedwagon. Robert gulped nervously but timed this just right as he readied his sledgehammer.
He ducked underneath Hibiki and literally sledgehammered him in his balls. Dan flew upwards, clutching his privates.
Dear lord, not even an infinite number of Raging Demons hurt this much.
Speedwagon dashed forward and threw his hat forward! Dan nearly laughed. He blasted a single energy blast forward-
"WHAT?!" Dan thought as the hat spun around his projectile. He dodged it coolly-
Only to receive a fist to the face! Speedwagon took a step back as his hat landed on his head.
Speedwagon readied his fists...
Before letting his fists fly forward! They bombarded Dan, smashing into him over and over.
Hibiki flew upward... and then came down with a Ki-powered footdive! The foot was coated in Ki energy, ready to casually obliterate his enemy.
Speedwagon quickly jumped backwards, completely avoiding the blow. He pulled back his fist as Dan looked up...
Hibiki was still quick. He pulled back his fist and threw it forward.
The two fists met... and then exploded. The explosion covered both fighters.
Neither could see the other and nobody could see them.
The smoke dissipated...
And revealed both still had their fists out.
Dan's fist stretched out as far as possible but didn't quite hit its mark. It was an inch away from Speedwagon's stomach.
Speedwagon's fist had barely pierced through Dan's chest. It was covered in blood.
"Speedwagon withdraws coolly."
Robert said those words as he pulled his fist out of Dan's chest.
Dan Hibiki coughed.
He fell backwards and lied on his back, staring up at the night-sky.
Speedwagon stood over him and... actually teared up.
It had to come to this.
The death of a man.
A man who wanted to cause no harm.
He was now on his final breaths.
Dan on the other hand? He did not experience sadness... but rather... happiness.
The last words of Hibiki came.
Dan fell on the back of his head. He may have been dead but a smile was still spread across his face.
Speedwagon stared at Dan's corpse and picked it up.
While he was ready to bury it... he had to say something first.
"Good show, Mr. Hibiki... good show."
Soul: ...that... that... that was fucking awesome.
Myth: ...well, holy shit. That was both hype and unexpected.
Soul: Verdict please.
Myth: With pleasure. While Dan Hibiki trumped Speedwagon in experience, martial arts and bravery, Speedwagon's overall superior physical stats and intelligence won the day.
Soul: By comparison, while Dan can tank deadly blows, keep in mind, his opponents aren't ever trying to kill him. Meanwhile, Speedwagon has fought zombies who were more than willing to kill him. Not only did he survive but he managed to kill a few of em!
Myth: Not to mention, the difference in durability is pretty clear cut. Yes, Dan tanked blows from Rufus and Zangief but as we said earlier, they aren't trying to kill him. Speedwagon on the other hand? He tanked a large part of a hall blowing up... with barely any damage.
Soul: But what about speed? Didn't Dan dominate in that category?
Myth: Actually... no. Yes, Dan's more agile but Speedwagon is still quicker. Hes kept up with vampires who bullet timed.
Soul: So physically, Speedwagon won it out. But... how does Speedwagon counter Dan's bravery? Hes way more brave than Robert.
Myth: One might think that but Speedwagon has still fought before. Hes manned up. Regardless, Dan was more brave but was this truly an advantage? Keep in mind, Dan still gets himself into total trouble whenever he does this. Where Speedwagon was less courageous, he made up for it by not being a complete moron.
Soul: So basically, Dan's own advantages were held back by his idiocy... but... what about the Satsui No Hado?
Myth: Well yes, that would definitely take down Speedwagon, the chances of it hitting were very low. Dan has very little experience with the move. Hell, the only time he used it, he was stopped by a schoolgirl's backpack. That and Speedwagon is easily fast enough to dodge it.
Soul: How does Speedwagon counter his martial arts?
Myth: A fucking sledgehammer, that's how.
Soul: In the end, Dan wasn't Danly enough to win.
Myth: The winner is Speedwagon.
--- --- ---
DAN HIBIKI - LOSER
- +Better fist fighter
- +More agile
- +More experience
- +Satsui No Hado is very deadly
- -Physically inferior
- -Worse intelligence
SPEEDWAGON - WINNER
- +Easily smarter
- +Great reflexes
- +Stronger and more durable
- +A sledgehammer can counter martial arts
- +His Buzzsaw Hat is a far better projectile than anything Dan has
- +Could dodge the Raging Demon
Dan appeared in a new world. He looked beneath him. Puffy, white clouds were beneath his feet.
Not only that but his own appearance had changed. He now had two white wings and a glowing, yellow halo over him.
This... was Heaven. Dan looked over and saw a man with grey hair, a mustache and an orange gi.
It was Go Hibiki.
The two looked at each other...
Before Dan broke into tears and ran forward. He hugged his father for the first time in years. Go patted his son on his shoulders.
Re-united at last...