|Lobo VS Augus|
|Season 1, Episode 1|
|Air date||April 16, 2015|
|N/A||The Soldier VS Senator Armstrong|
Myth: Welcome to the very first Fatal Fiction we will be doing!
Soul: OK, bro, fucking why? lets just go get food and leave and shit.
Myth: How about... no?
Soul: YOUGOTMETHEREDUDE. HOTMEME.
Myth: Anyways, today we have two planet-busting fighters. There more of a rival than a true villain to the main hero, there smug as hell and loooooove a good fight!
Soul: Lobo, the Last Czarnian...
Myth: And Augus, Asura's teacher.
Soul: Hes Myth, I'm Soul, and today...
Myth: Were gonna look into these two fighters' skills, strengths, weakness, weapons, everything! ...to find out who would win...
Soul: A Fatal Fiction!
- Known As: The Last Czarnian, His Real Name is Unpronounceable, but it apparently means "He Who
- Devours Your Entrails And Thoroughly Enjoys It" The Main Man, The Ultimate Bastiche
- Height: 6'4
- Weight: 305 lbs.
- Debut Appearance: Omega Men #3 (1983)
- Species: Czarnian
- Created a Plague that Murdered off his entire species of Immortals in the span of one week as a kid
- Was Sent to Hell, and Wrecked their shit to the point of being sent up to Heaven just so they couldn't deal with him
- When Sent to Heaven, He was granted Immortality so they wouldn't have to deal with him
- Killed Santa Clause and The Easter Bunny
- Has taken down the likes of Superman and Etrigan in fights
- When His Pet Space Dolphins were hurt by L.E.G.I.O.N, Lobo took the entire team down with little effort, to the point of Vril Dox bribing him to join so he'd stop hurting the team
- Protects his Fourth Grade Teacher Miss Tribb, whom he hates for the sake of the contract, before killing her once his mission is completed, earning him the title of Last Czarnian
- Became a Red Lantern after fighting Sinestro, Green Lantern and Carol Ferris on equal footing
- Ate an Entire City by balling it into his fists
- Took on a Pantheon of Deities and kicked their asses
- Has destroyed planets with his fists
- Outsmarted Darkseid
Soul: Ah, Lobo. One of personal favorite comic-book characters.
Myth: Lobo is the Last Czarnian. He became the last of his race... after he murdered all of his people.
Soul: Sounds like something I-
Myth: Wait. Don't finish that fucking sentence. *pulls out shotgun* Now move on.
Soul: ...You piece of shit. You know its true that I - a GOD, would kick your scrawny ass.
Myth: Yet you can't get past a shotgun.
Soul: ...Moving on.
- Surprisingly Genius Intellect
- Has Mastered Martial Arts throughout the Galaxy
- Tracking skills can find you anywhere with your scent
- Weapons Expert
Myth: Lobo is a master of weapons. He actually loves em like a child.
Soul: As would I, as would I...
Myth: The Bounty Hunter is also very smart. He can outsmart-
Soul: The Superman-bitchslappin', Omega Beam-firing, Apokolips, Darkseid.
- Superhuman Strength: Can easily K.O Superman, destroy Planets, and lift over 100 tons at Strongest
- Superhuman Speed: The Speed also heightens his reflexes
- Superhuman Durability, Near Invulnerability: Tanks Planet Busting attacks without a scratch on him at his best
- Healing Factor: Can regenerate from a Single Cell thanks to Immortality
- Cosmic Awareness: Has Broken the 4th Wall before
- Weakness Detection: Does so by looking at how you work
- Immortality: Grants Self Sustenance and an insane Healing Factor
Myth: Lobo has tons of weird abilities. Like EVERY comic-book character ever made, Lobo can regenerate his wounds. He can even regenerate from a single drop of blood.
Soul: And he ain't lacking in the physical field either. Lobo can go toe to toe with the Man of Steel himself, Superman and can even react to the massively faster than light Alien from Krypton's attacks.
Myth: And can tank hits from the fucker too.
WEAPONS...Assorted Knives, ranging in size Liefeld-esque guns, also ranging in size Shotgun, Exploding Cigars Various Explosives
Ear Chip: Plays Heavy Metal 24/7 and grants him immunity to Psychic Powers and attacks.
Soul: And now we get to the gooooooood shit. The WEAPONS. Lobo owns cigars... which fucking explode! Seriously, next time someone tells me to stop smoking, I'm blowing them up with that shit! He owns a TON of explosives too!
Myth: Lobo owns various knives, a shotgun-
Soul: Can I just... fucking buy those exploding cigars?
Myth: ...No. Not ever. I let you make the Terminator into a damn muffin maid but this is where I draw the damn line.
Spacehog: An oversized Space Motorcycle that comes with missiles, lasers, launchers and beams. It can also travel through galaxies in mere seconds at its fastest.
Soul: Lobo owns the Spacehog, a faster than light motorcycle that can shoot lasers! Sweet!
Chain-Hook: Lobo's Signature Weapon that has cut up Deities in fights
Myth: Lobo's signature weapon, however, is his chain. This weapon lets Lobo tie up guys, throw them around or drag their face across the ground.
- Alcoholism can alter his thoughts
- Powers can be inconsistent at times, as writers tend to greatly alter his power
Soul: Even though... Lobo is the greatest Bounty Hunter ever, period, he does have weaknesses. But... lets be honest... how will they really effect this fight? Lobo is still one tough motherfucker no matter how you look at it.
Lobo: "School's in y' bushwackin Dweeb Monkeys! T'day's Lesson...Payback's a bitch!"
- First Appearance: "Asura's Wrath" (2012)
- Occupation: One of the Seven Deities, Guardian General (formally), Asura's original teacher
- Alignment: Neutral
- Theme: Asura's Wrath - Agus Battle Theme
- Matched Six-Armed Vajra Asura for a while
- One of the Seven Deities
- Has only drawn his blade on two fighters
- These fighters were Asura and Deus
- Trained Asura
- For a time, he even trained Yasha
- Before becoming one of the Eight Guardian Generals, Augus murdered one of them
- Skilled Martial Artist
Myth: Originally a lone warrior living in the mountains, Augus spent most of his life fighting.
Soul: Awwww man... I love this guy! Anyways, this badass spent his time fighting off Gohma... then one day, Deus showed up and asked him to join the Eight Guardian Generals.
Myth: Ironic, since Augus had recently killed one of the generals. At first, Augus didn't want to join, thinking he was too strong-
Myth: -For the group. Deus then challenged him... and after an insane battle, Augus was so impressed with Deus, he actually accepted joining the generals!
Soul: Later, Augus began mentoring Asura and Yasha.
- Strong enough to match Six-Armed Vajra Asura
- Fought Deus
- Considered vastly superior to Gongen Wyzen who is planet-sized
- Back in the day, he was capable of curbstomping Asura
- Quick enough to react to Asura
- Ran across the moon
- Can match Asura even when he has six arms
- Can tank punches from Asura
- Can survive atmospheric re-entry
- Can survive a beatdown from a Gohma
Myth: Augus is one hell of a fighter.
Soul: The bastard is stronk enough to overpower Asura with his bare hands! Might I add that Augus was only using TWO hands to fight against SIX-armed Vajra Asura? Pretty impressive and fast!
Myth: In terms of endurance, Augus can survive a punch from Asura to the face... and not even budge!
Soul: Another thing to note is... Augus is stronger than Gongen Wyzen...
Myth: And Gongen Wyzen can grow larger than the planet!
Wailing Dark Edit
- Augus' weapon
- A sharp kitana
- Usually doesn't use it
- Only used it on Deus and Asura
- Can expand to feature length and plow through foes
- Can go through an entire planet
- Strong enough to cut up Asura
- Can survive going through a planet
- Can endure atmospheric re-entry
- Can shoot energy blasts
- Can also perform casual blade slashes
Soul: And then there's Augus' favorite thing in the world... his special blade known as...
Myth: Wailing Dark!
Soul: Wailing Dark can do some crazy shit! It can drive through an entire planet, it can shoot energy beams-
Myth: It can also expand-
Soul: Le meme.
Myth: Also, the thing is strong enough to hurt Asura and even destroy some of his arms.
- Cocky and Arrogant
- Tests opponents
- Wailing Dark can be broken
- Then again, it was broken by Asura
Soul: For someone so badass, Augus is sadly not perfect.
Myth: He loves fighting... and feels so disappointed about some fighters' abilities that he will test them, sometimes leaving him wide-open. He's also cocky as hell.
Soul: But y'know what? Fuck it. Augus is hardcore and easily one of the coolest guys in the world! If you see Wailing Darkness pointed at you... pro-tip. START. RUNNING.
Augus: "I have had carnal knowledge of the fairest maidens in Heaven... and have tasted the finest wines of Gaia. But none of it-- none of it-- excites my blood more than using my blade! Prepare to meet your end, Asura!!"
Fatal Fiction Edit
Soul: Don't we have to do some dumb coin flip?
Myth: We were gonna... but then we didn't.
Soul: Getting really tired of your shit, Myth.
Myth: Oh whatever! 'sides, who cares?
Soul: I kinda-
Myth: Just say "Its time for a Fatal Fiction!"
Soul: Its time for a DEAAAA- I mean Fatal Fiction!
A man with two golden arms and white hair walked throughout a desert not too far away from society. Asura was looking for those blasted Deities, thinking of the most painful way to kill them...
Little did he know, someone was watching him.
Needless to say, the white-haired, white-bearded, tan man with white eyes was bored. Augus had absolutely nothing to do. The Gohma were being killed by Wyzen and Yasha so he was sent to basically... have a day off. As he sat there, he noticed a white-haired women known as Olga enter the room.
Augus couldn't help but ask her something. "So... Yasha and Wyzen were sent to exterminate some Gohma... I can't help but ask but... couldn't I at least take care of Asura?"
Olga's reply was quite annoying to Augus...
"No. We already have someone doing tha-"
"WHAT?!" Augus yelled, standing up. "But thats my kill!"
Olga turned her back to the fight-loving Deity and began, "Yes... but we've hired a... lunatic to take him out. Hes one of the-" As soon as she turned around, she was quite irritated to notice Augus missing.
A bike sat on the moon, perfectly parked and next to it was a man with red eyes, black hair, a bikergang-style jacket and... he had weapons... a lot of weapons. On top of that, he had a cigar that was somehow still lit, even in the vacuum of space. Lobo had his eyes set on his next target he was hired to take down...
He pointed his shotgun and readied the shot...
He pulled the trigger.
The bullet flew down throughout orbit and...
The Czarnian's actually stared blankly. The shot. It was stopped. Right before it hit the back of Asura's skull. The bullet was suspended in midair... that's when he noticed the hand holding it.
Even from the moon, Lobo could hear the figure's booming voice.
The figure then vanished after jumping upward-
The bounty hunter jumped back from a fist nearly hitting him!
The two had enough distance between each other... and then they realized that there was nobody stopping them.
Lobo wanted to have some fun with a kill...
Augus wanted to have his kill.
That's when they both realized... that there was only one way they were gonna settle this...
Pulling out a shotgun, Lobo shot first... and the bullet bounced off of Augus' chest. Lobo looked down at the useless bullet. Then he looked at Augus. Who had a smug look plastered on his face.
The Last Czarnian didn't have enough time to react to a mantra-charged fist slamming into his cheek. But before he was sent flying, Lobo slammed his foot down, stopping him from being thrown back. He pulled back a fist... and nailed Augus in the face! But as Lobo did, Augus too slammed his foot down.
And now both were just standing in place, with fists slammed into them. It wasn't until Augus noticed a weakness in Lobo's defense did things change. He swiftly lifted his foot and swiped Lobo off of the ground! Before Augus could stomp on the bounty hunter, sadly, the Last Czarnian rolled over and stood up. Augus charged forward-
This time, Lobo's firepower was a lot stronger. The deity actually stumbled back a bit. Swiftly, Lobo wasted no time as he jumped up and kicked Augus in the head! To finish up the combo, Lobo elbowed Augus in the face, punched him in the gut and elbowed him to the ground. On his knees now, Augus seemed helpless as Lobo pulled out his shotgun...
"Any last words?"
Augus mentally laughed. Yeah, like a shotgun would end his life...
All Augus did was simply grab the shotgun... and bend it. The bounty hunter stared at it in confusion... did that just happen?
Then he fell to his knees as Augus punched him where the sun don't shine. "Ha! Prepare to meet your end!" Augus said, wrapping his arms around Lobo. Swiftly, he jumped upward and when he started falling... he began spinning. Fast.
Suddenly, Augus slammed into the moon... and began to pile-drive Lobo through it. They went past the rock, the magma, the core... and soon fell out the other side and were now plunging through orbit!
Atmospheric re-entry was painful but nothing to harmful to them. As they fell, it caught the attention of a certain raging demi-god-
The second Lobo and Augus touched the ground... the raging Demi-God was sent soaring through the skies. The blast cleared... and there was a crater... and Lobo and Augus were in the center of it.
As the two stood up, they cracked their broken bones and stared at each other.
(Cues: Unknown theme)
The first one to move was Augus. He leapt forward, pulled back a fist and slammed it into Lobo's jaw! It was at that moment that Lobo's jaw was sent flying clean off...
"Oh, you can't be that weak! Cmon!" Augus taunted... as he viewed one of the weirdest things ever. The sound of flesh being re-made and teeth being put back in place was flowing through the air. Lobo's jaw had regenerated.
"Ohohoho... this shall proof to be very interesting..." Augus said. "Now-" Before the deity could finish his line, a shotgun blast hit him dead in the chest. Backing up in pain, Augus could not react to a painful chain digging into his chest. With a mighty tug, Lobo began spinning around. Fast. As the speed of the spinning kept getting faster, Augus began... laughing. It was the time of his life. Suddenly, the poor deity was thrown across the wasteland. He hit the ground with a thud.
"Hahaha... this is fun... its like hu-" Once again, Augus' sentence was interrupted as Lobo headbutted him in the face. "Y'know... maybe if ya weren't all talk, you would have been able to, y'know, land a good blow!" Lobo said, tauntingly. Augus rolled his eyes... then swung his blade so fast that a beam of pure energy flew out. It cleaved through the Main Man's torso... and then Augus dashed forward, grabbed Lobo by the neck and began running. Fast. "Hahahahaha!" As he ran, he slammed the poor Czarnian's face into the ground. The running became quicker and quicker... and soon Augus had ran across the deserty plains in a circle! The speed was getting so fast that suddenly a tornado of sand whirled up from the speeds Augus was moving at. He jumped up the sandstorm, turned around and began suplexing poor Lobo downward!
The impact left a sandy crater... and slowly, Augus crawled out of the pit. He cracked his neck, cracked his knuckles and walked out of the pit. He looked back on it. He was actually disapointed. The crazy man he just fought was so much fun to fight! If only he was still alive...
"Gonna take more then that to kill me, dweeb."
Augus smiled. "Well... good to see you ali-"
Augus looked down and noticed a chain wrap around his leg. He also heard the sound of an engine roaring. Turning his head, the former Guardian General saw Lobo sit atop a giant motorcycle. It was loaded with weapons. And then the bounty hunter began driving it.
Augus fell off his feet the instant the Main Man began driving. Suddenly, the deity began feeling himself bounce up and down as rocks began hitting him multiple times. The speed only picked up and then the SpaceHog began spinning in circles! Augus kept slamming into rocks as Lobo pulled out a shotgun, twirled it around, pointed it up and shot it! The Last Czarnian's laughs could be heard for miles...
But there was one weird thing was, that Lobo could hear something...
Laughter. And it wasn't his own. He turned around to see Augus, laughing like a maniac. "Hahahahahaha! This is a blast!"
"Thats fun, eh? Well..." Lobo kicked the gas pedal so hard that it nearly broke, "GET A LOAD OF THIS!" Suddenly, the SpaceHog began flying upward. Soon, they were above the clouds. And still, Augus was having a blast, despite being driven into the atmosphere. Suddenly, gravity shifted... that's when the Deity knew that Lobo had taken him into orbit. Looking around, Augus could see the emptiness of space surround him. And then?
Lobo was actually annoyed by it. He turned... and raised his middle finger at the Deity. "Your not supposed to be enjoyin' dis!"
Suddenly, the vehicle began spinning at an incredibly fast rate. The chain unhooked... and Augus began falling back down to Gaea! He re-entered orbit... and yet, he was still laughing. Suddenly, he saw the ground...
The impact ended... and when it did, it revealed that the a city-sized crater had stolen its place. And at the center? Augus, looking up. "Heh, is that all? Give me more! Show me more!" Even from orbit, Lobo could hear the deity's booming voice... and the bounty hunter accepted his challenge.
Lobo began driving downwards... and then began firing. Blue, yellow, orange, red, green and other colored-lasers began flying down... and from someone else's view, it would look like a rainbow of fireworks coming down... but nope. It was lasers. Lasers ready to kill. Augus looked up and squinted his eyes.
One thought went through his head...
He pulled back a fist and began punching. Each laser met one of Augus' fists and when they did, the Deity's fist would completely tank the blast. That's when Augus saw the SpaceHog charging directly at him...
Augus slammed down both of his feet and thrusted his arms out.
The SpaceHog made contact with Augus' hands...
And the struggle had begun. Each time the SpaceHog's speed became faster, Augus would simply use more of his strength to match its sheer speed. The more speed applied caused the Deity's feet to slowly dig into the ground.
Slowly, the two began slowly getting deeper and deeper into the planet's core. It seemed that the SpaceHog's speed-
Augus roared in rage and power. He slammed his foot down... and was suddenly capable of holding the thing up with one hand. He pulled back a fist...
And upon punching the vehicle! The thing flew sky-high. Lobo couldn't keep his balance and fell right off of it! He landed on his two legs as he saw Augus jump out of the hole, ready for the next fight...
And both were smiling like a bunch of smug jackasses.
"Well, its been fun but i'm afraid i'm gonna have to end ya!" Lobo said. Augus rolled his eyes.
"Not..." Suddenly, Augus jumped into ORBIT in less than ten seconds...
Lobo looked up... and what he saw would make any sane man's jaw drop... key word? Sane. Lobo wasn't quite sane, however. What he saw was a futuristic ship... one that the Seven Deities themselves would be using...
And the damn thing landed right on top of Lobo.
Augus raised his fists and began punching it. "Hahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!" The Deity laughed all the way...
"Augus!" Screamed someone from inside of the ship. "Stop this now!"
The one screaming it was a small man with a beard, a monocle and a small cane. Kalrow was stuck inside of the ship. "Look! I know you love fi-"
"ITS TOO LATE OLD MAN!"
With that, Augus raised his fist...
Kalrow's yell in terror was cut off when Augus punched the ship...
At first, nothing happened... suddenly, it been sparking with electricity... and then...
The crater cleared... and bits of innocent troops from the ship were flying around and all that remained of Kalrow? His cane. Augus looked around... and noticed Lobo, on his back, chuckling. "Hehehehe... your pretty good for an' old timer."
Augus smiled... before picking up Kalrow's cane and tossing it at the bounty hunter's forehead.
Lobo scratched his head and slowly got up as his charred body began regenerating. He stared forward as-
"Kurikara Fudo Uchi!"
Both fighters jumped back as a fat, bearded man landed in between them. It was Wyzen... and he was pretty pissed at Augus. "Augus! You filthy TRAITOR!" Wyzen roared. "You interfere with the bounty hunter we hired to take down Asura... KILL Kalrow... and you expect for us, the Seven Deities, to just be fine with this?! Well... prepare to die, traitor!"
The fat Deity jumped upward, pulled back a fist and yelled...
"Kurikara Fudo Uchi!"
Wyzen's fist began glowing with golden energy as he flew down at Augus. What did Asura's trainer do? Simple. He tilted his head slightly and wrapped his arm around Wyzen's! He tossed him away. "AGH!" When Wyzen landed, he found himself below Lobo's feet. "Y'know, we might need to put ya on time-out." Lifting Wyzen over his head, Lobo tossed the poor bastard at Augus...
And what did Wyzen see? A fist fly at his chin.
The fist connected with his chin instantly and he flew into orbit. Instantly. He blinked away among the stars. Wyzen was gone.
"Now... where were we?" Augus asked as Lobo landed a firm fist into his cheek! The poor Deity flew into a mountain...
And jumped out of it instantly. "Cheap trick... I like it!"
(Cues: Unknown Theme)
Augus rushed forward, fists flying... and Lobo replied with his own fists flying forward and repeatedly matching Augus, blow for blow! The speed of Augus' fists sped up.. and landed a hit on the Last Czarnian's face!
Swiftly, the bounty hunter slammed his foot down, preventing him from flying... and then they were locked in close-combat again. Once again, Augus scored a direct hit on Lobo's chin.
And Lobo once more slammed his foot down, preventing him from falling back. He came roaring back with a fist directly towards the fighter's face! Poor Augus was sent soaring back. He hit multiple rocks below him, bouncing up and down with each one he was hit against. Eventually, he slammed both feet down, stopping him from falling back...
Augus took a moment to catch his breath.
He slowly stood up... and then tucked his fist... and upon thrusting them out, a golden halo appeared along with a column of energy...
"I have had carnal knowledge of the fairest maidens in Heaven..." Suddenly, Augus reached down to his belt and grabbed onto his hilt... "AND HAVE TASTED THE FINEST WINES OF GAEA!" He twirled the hilt before clutching both sides of it...
"But none of it..."
He began pulling it in opposite directions...
"NONE OF IT!"
Augus tossed the hilt away in an instant. Revealing his kitana known as Wailing Dark.
"EXCITES MY BLOOD MORE THAN USING MY BLADE!"
Insane energy was flowing off of the Deity's body.
"PREPARE TO MEET YOUR END, LOBO!"
Brahmastra, Deus' Throne Room
Deus sat there, massively annoyed by Augus' interference with Asura's execution. Suddenly, Olga entered the room. "My... lord... it appears that... Wyzen was defeated..."
Deus was massively frustrated but was strong enough to hide it as he simply said one sentence...
"Send Sergei down there. He can take some troops."
Back at the battlefield
Augus lifted the blade over his head-
He stopped as he looked up to see another ship of the Deities fly in the skies. Suddenly, a group of metallic soldiers jumped down along with one man with purple hair and a smile that showed nothing but awkward satisfaction.
"I'm sorry... but as much as I love watching your mindless and beautiful destruction, I have been ordered to stop you." Sergei said, "However, when you get to the afterlife, don't tell anyone I didn't want to do this..." Lobo rolled his eyes and walked away for a second...
"Because, to be honest, destruction is an instrume-"
Suddenly, Sergei's head erupted as brain-pulp, blood and skull fragments flew into the sky. Apparently, Lobo sneaked around the crazy Deity... and simply blasted his head into nothing but pulp with a shotgun. "Sorry for the minor interruption, folks! Lets go this show on the road!" Lobo said. One of the robotic soldiers charged at Lobo, staff ready... when suddenly, Lobo grabbed him and tossed him at Augus! Readying his blade, the Deity swiftly slashed his blade and cut the poor troop in two! They could even hear him scream. This continued for the next six remaining (and terrified) troops. Suddenly, a stack of dead troops were at their feet.
Lobo's stomach grumbled. "Hold on a minute, wont ch'ya?" He picked up the stack of broken-up troopers... and crumbled them into a ball and in one gulp...
Ate the ball of metallic warriors.
"Now... does anyone else want some?" Augus asked... and he received his answer.
Both of them darted there heads over and noticed a herd of red creatures. One was a huge elephant, some were monkeys, one was a rhino... there were a lot of them. They both smiled.
"Well... lets play a game! Whoever gets more of them goofy lookin' creatures to die will win the game!" Lobo said. Augus' reply?
The two dashed forward. When they were close enough, Augus used his blade to cut off the elephant Gohma's foot! The thing roared in pain as it fell to the floor. Lobo swiftly pulled out his trusty shotgun and began rapid-firing bullets the herd of Gohma. Some jumped at him but the bullets were faster. Corpses of the Gohma began scattering the area. As soon as Lobo was done firing... a total of fifteen Gohma had been killed by him.
"So, thats fifteen for me and... uh, one for ya, right, old-timer?" The Last Czarnian asked...
And Augus had a solution to this problem. "Well... I have an idea." He grabbed the poor Gohma elephant by the trunk, lifted it over his head... and began using it as a weapon. As the Gohma charged forward... they all stopped, turned and ran at the site of the giant Destructor Gohma falling on them. Augus kept swinging the poor Gohma around, crushing more and more Gohma as he did. Upon lifting it up, he saw crushed Gohma. He smiled. "So, how many do I have now?"
He kept swinging. More Gohma screamed as the giant corpse of the demonic elephant was swung around. It landed on more and more Gohma, murdering them. "AHAHAHAHAHAHA! THIS IS WHAT I LIVE FOR! THIS IS WHY I EXIST!" On the final swing, the Destructor Gohma's body exploded into energy, killing hundreds of Gohma. There screams filled the skies... but those screams? They were music to Lobo and Augus.
The two looked at each other for a second.
"So.... did I win?" Augus asked like an asshole.
"...not by mu-" Lobo was interrupted as Augus jumped forward and headbutted him a mile away! Swiftly, the Last Czarnian regained his bala-
Waves of energy-bases projectiles flew forward. Each time Augus had swung his blade, powerful energy blasted forward from it. The energy flew at Lobo. He barely dodged them.
He dodged barely again.
He dodged again.
He dodged again.
Finally, Augus dashed forward faster than Lobo could react... and stabbed him directly in the chest. Lobo even coughed up some blood as he struggled to pull himself off of the blade.
"You did good..." Augus began, "But all good things must come to an end." With that said, Augus began overcharging the blade with huge amounts of energy... and in one blast, Lobo's limbs exploded. With a quick movement, Lobo was tossed off of the tip off of the blade. "Good match, however!"
Augus turned to leave the Main Man to die.
Suddenly, a fist slammed into Augus' back! "Wha-"
"THAT AIN'T THE LAST OF THE MAIN MAN, YET!"
Augus was sent flying into orbit by the sheer force of Lobo's punch. The Last Czarnian smirked as he saw Augus vanish into the night sky...
As the deity floated throughout space, he sighed. He would NOT lose to this maniac. Quickly re-positioning himself, he pointed Wailing Dark forward... and sat there for a minute...
The blade shot extended forward and was quickly re-entering orbit.
Back on the ground
Lobo turned and looked at his weapons. They were all there. It appeared he had enough to take down Asura still... and that's when he saw the Destructor himself: Asura. He was rubbing his aching head from the assault earlier but he could recover. The bounty hunter, however, had no reason to let him recover. He aimed his shotgun forward, prepared the shot-
He heard the sound of something flying through the air. He turned-
Suddenly, an extending blade landed right in his forehead. He looked up to see Augus, riding down the extending blade... and he was smiling the entire time down. The deity kicked Lobo's head...
And it splitted in half, blood and brain pulp flying around. Landing on his feet, Augus turned to view Lobo's headless corpse... but he knew it would regenerate. He saw Lobo's head patch itself back together... his response? He uppercutted the bounty hunter, launching him into the sky. Soon, Lobo realized something. He had left the planet... and had landed on the moon. Shaking his head, the Last Czarnian looked forward...
Only to get Augus' fists smashed into him. The Former Guardian General began punching Lobo, over and over. Soon, he was punched all the way through the entire moon. Flying upward, Lobo tried to find a way out of the combo-
Wheres the rest of my body? Lobo thought as he looked down and noticed his head been cut off. Oh. The Deity jumped upward, grabbed onto Lobo's head and tossed it back down the hole! Pointing Wailing Darkness forward, the blade extended outward...
Until Lobo's head was a Shish-Kebab. Plummeting down into orbit, Lobo's head was in an awkward state of regenerating but burnt away from atmospheric re-entry... and yet, the cigar was still in his mouth during this. Augus jumped down the hole, following Lobo. "This is it!" Augus began, "Our epic duel is almost over... it was one hell of a battle, though!"
Then Lobo looked down. It was the ground. Mere milliseconds away from smashing into his face.
Upon landing, there wasn't just an explosion. It was more like ten nuclear bombs went off at once. A HUGE crater appeared from the impact-zone. Looking around, there was no sign of Lobo. Just a small splat of blood.
Augus looked forward...
And then broke into mad laughter. "YESYESYESYESYES! THAT WAS THE MOST AMAZING BATTLE I HAVE EVER HAD! I wish I didn't kill you... WE COULD HAVE BEEN SPARRING PARTNERS!" Augus roared these words into the sky. He turned to leave. It was a shame that it ended that way.
Little did he know, however, was the single splat of blood... began regenerating. Lobo's arms, legs, head, eyes, chest, everything was back. He stood up... and picked up one of his fingers and placed it back on his hand. He whistled.
Swiftly, the SpaceHog pulled up next to Lobo. He hopped on board. Pulling out his chain, he tossed it forward...
And it wrapped around Augus' leg. "WHAT?!" With a sudden tug, the poor Deity was pulled off of his feet! He was being dragged across the plains, rocks hitting him multiple times. Looking over, Lobo noticed something...
A broken ship from the Seven Deities. He smiled. He also noticed a nearby, dead tree...
With a quick motion, he tossed Augus' helpless body over the tree! The poor Deity struggled to get free...
Swiftly, he hopped off of the SpaceHog, ran over to Augus... and began loading his mouth up with explosives! And then he turned.... and made a mad dash over to the ship, grabbed it... and jumped up. He began falling down... and where did the ship land?
In Augus' mouth.
To say that the surrounding area exploded would be an understatement. It was more like fifty nukes had gone off at once...
The explosion cleared and all that remained? Lobo's head. With a cigar in it. Nothing was left of Augus. The bounty hunter broke down laughing. "Hahahahahahaha! Man, that was pretty cool, dude!" Lobo yelled.
"But, let me tell ya.... they don't call me the Main Man for nothin'."
Soul: Holy fuuuuuuck. That planet got fucking wrecked!
Myth: Augus held the strength and hand-to-hand combat advantage but Lobo's durability and speed won the day.
Soul: Comparing Lobo's SpaceHog to Augus' speed is like comparing light to a car!
Myth: Augus is fast but the SpaceHog can fly across ENTIRE galaxies! Lets also not forget Lobo's durability. Considering his insane regeneration and you have a victory for the Main Man.
Soul: Looks like Augus got AuGutted alive!
Myth: The winner is Lobo.
--- --- ---
LOBO - WINNER
- +Insane Regeneration
- +The SpaceHog makes him waaaaaaay faster
- +Far more weapons
AUGUS - LOSER
- +Physically stronger
- +Better at hand-to-hand combat
- -Nowhere near as fast as the SpaceHog
Lobo's body had regenerated. He sat on his bike, smoking a cigar-
"SHIT!" Lobo thought. He had completely forgotten about Asura. Well, maybe he could still kill him-
Something tapped him on his shoulder.
The Main Man turned around... and was met with a Mantra-powered fist.
The Last Czarnian was sent flying. Asura retracted his fist. "...stupid bastard..."
- The connections between Lobo and Augus are two smug, fight-loving men who essentially side with nobody.
- The-Myth-Of-Legends states: This fight didn't even have the greatest connection in the world. I mean, the connection is there but I feel it isn't a big one. Regardless, I knew it would be pretty easy to write due to me loving both characters and knowing of the potential havoc they could cause. Funny thing is, one day I sat down and said, "I really wanna finish this." and wrote the whole thing out. Not so quick it was sloppy, mind you but still quick. Overall? I was pretty satisfied with the final result.
- Augus dropping a ship on Lobo and punching it until it explodes is a reference to Dio Brando from Jojo's Bizarre Adventure and his infamous "ROAD ROLLER" attack.
- In the prelude, Augus' blade is said to have the ability to 'expand to feature length and plow through foes' which is a reference to the Expand Dong meme.