|Meat VS Spinal|
|Season 1, Episode 10|
|Air date||October 7, 2015|
|Groudon VS Gon||Dan Hibiki VS Speedwagon|
Mortal Kombat VS Killer Instinct! Which reanimated corpse will win? Will Meat take down Spinal? Or will the skeleton spook him solid?
Mr. Stupid: Oh. You spooked me solid.
Myth: Its October and now is time... for a Halloween fight-
? ? ?: And I've come to assist in research!
Myth: Who are you?
? ? ?: I am Flonnzeul! Your new assistant!
Mr. Stupid: Wat. Wat. Wat.
Myth: Wait, Truth was supposed to come! What happened?
Flonnzeul: Truth be told-
Soul: HA, I GET IT-
Flonnzeul: I was filling in for him. He's currently somewhere else.
Shows Truth tied up in a closet
Soul: Probably out saving babies or something. What a hero.
Myth: Anyways, death. When you die, your corpse rots. But some come back as a reanimated corpse-
Soul: OK, HOLY FUCK, THAT WAS DARK-
Mr. Stupid: DARKNESS, NO PARENTS-
Flonnzeul: Jeez, you men need to chill. You can't let a man do a woman's job!
Myth: ...research? Uhhh- nevermind. But yeah, fighters can be reanimated corpses is the point.
Soul: Like Meat, the fighter from Shang Tsung's Flesh Pits.
Mr. Stupid: And Spinal, a spooky scary skeleton that ensures chills down your spine.
Myth: I'm Myth, hes Soul, hes Mr. Stupid and shes Flonnzeul-
Flonnzeul: Wait, why my name last? Are you sexist or something?
Myth: ᴶᵉˢᵘˢ ᶜʰʳᶦˢᵗ⋅
Soul: This is already horrible and I hate myself.
Myth: Anyways, were here to analyze their weapons, armor-
Mr. Stupid: And spookiness to find out who would win-
Flonnzeul: A Fatal-
Soul: A FATAL FICTION!
Flonnzeul: Interrupting me? I see how it is.
- Alias: Zombie
- First Appearance: Mortal Kombat 4 (1997)
- Height: 5'7"
- Weight: 250 lbs
- Theme: Mortal Kombat 4 - Meat's Theme
- Created by Shang Tsung
- Escaped Shang Tsung's flesh pits
- Assisted Shinnok in his plans
- Has a cousin named "Skully"
- Was a hidden character in MK4
- Defeated Blaze in MK:A (Non-Canon)
- Gained godlike powers after defeating Blaze (Non-Canon)
Myth: One of the lesser known Mortal Kombat characters, Meat is a Mortal Kombat character that escaped Shang Tsung's flesh pits and became an enforcer of Shinnok's.
Mr. Stupid: Short ass backstory right there.
Soul: Yeah, it is.
Flonnzeul: Yeah, kind of sad for him. Deserves... special attention.
Myth: What the fuck
Enhanced Strength Edit
- Implied to have escaped from the glass tubes holding the various creatures inside the flesh pits
- Can pull off his own head which seems to be human-like
- It is almost impossible to pull off a normal human head
- Uses wrestling as a form of fighting style
- Professional wrestlers use strength-based grappling and striking attacks
Enhanced Speed & Reflexes Edit
- Can "flesh teleport" multiple times to dodge oncoming attacks and projectiles
- Is a fast-moving character
- Is also quick to strike with punches/kicks and attack with his cleavers
- Should be fast due to how wrestling calls for athletics and acrobatics
Inhuman Durability Edit
- Is a walking cadaver-like being who bleeds blood non-stop
- Can survive self-mutilating himself
- Capable of surviving as a head and being headless
- Casually rejuvenates health with he harms himself
- Tends to gain back health by putting his loose eye back into place
- Immune to pain
- Can still survive brutal beatings and vicious fatalities
Myth: Meat is still a pretty impressive fighter-
Flonnzeul: Like me and Myth in bed, hes really tough!
Myth: I HAVE NEVER EVEN MET YOU-
Flonnzeul: DON'T HIDE OUR LOVE-
Mr. Stupid: NO FRIENDS-
Soul: SHHHHHHHH... anyways, he can tank vicious beatings from many fighters and even knock opponents into the air.
Fighting Style Edit
- Utilizes wrestling as means of fighting
- Seems to be a semi-professional at it
- Uses low and heavy punches/kicks for striking
- Also utilizes grappling (throwing) as a means to grab others
- Wrestling itself combines athletics and preforming arts along with acrobatics grappling/striking
- Seemingly good and fast enough to chain together combos
- Somehow manages to improvise meat cleavers into his wrestling style
- Uses his fast-paced movement and ridiculous durability to help him balance his wrestling skills and win matches
Myth: Meat utilizes wrestling moves to take down opponents- IN BEFORE BED JOKE.
Soul: On top of this, he can chain together long combos with his fists and feet. Like any fighting game character. Ever.
Meat Cleavers Edit
- Meat's weapons of choice
- Surprisingly good with them
- Made from the thigh bone of a failed experiment from the flesh pits
- Can chop, cleave, and slash at a high speed
- Normally used to cleave and chop meat
Mr. Stupid: Meat owns Meat Cleavers. What the fuck.
Flonnzeul: These bad boys are made from the thigh bone of a failed experiment in Shang Tsung's flesh pits.
Myth: However, these things aren't really... weapons. They can be used as weapons but it wont be too good as these cleavers aren't meant for combat but cutting up meat.
Mr. Stupid: Meat cleaves himself. What is he, emo?
Head Roll Edit
- Meat pulls off his head and rolls it at his opponent
- Meat Leg Slide Utilizing the blood on his body, Meat slides at the foe at high speeds
Body Mutilation Edit
- Meat pulls on his loose eye which pops it back into place
- Makes Meat regain lost health
Flesh Teleport Edit
- Meat falls down and blows up into a puddle of blood when hitting the ground
- This causes him to teleport behind his opponent for a surprise attack
Soul: Meat can pull off his head and roll it at enemies. He can slide on his OWN blood to fly forward and kick down foes.
Myth: He can even regain health by plucking his eye out... and then putting it back in. Somehow.
Soul: He can even teleport!
- Can mimic the abilities and powers of the character who was chosen to fight
- This means that Meat can logically become any character off of the MK4 roster
- The fighters on the roster are:
- Johnny Cage
- Liu Kang
- Noob Saibot
- Quan Chi
- Sonya Blade
- Can shape-shift into anyone he wants as of MK: Armageddon
- Technically non-canon
Soul: Meat can shapeshift his body-
Flonnzeul: Wait what? I wish I could do that to please Myth-
Myth: Hangs self
Mr. Stupid: Well, holy fucking shit, that was fast as fuck.
- Limited combat experience
- Was only in about three games
- One of them as a cameo
- Shape-shifting abilities are limited
- Technically his Armageddon shape-shifts are non-canon
- Can seemingly lose his sense of identity easily
Soul: Meat ain't perfect, however. Hes only appeared in three games - one of which was a cameo - which means he doesn't have that much experience. His shape-shifting abilities tend to be limited as well.
Mr. Stupid: Well, lets make him fight a Spooky Scary Skeleton.
Meat: *Does his victory pose while the announcer says "MEAT WINS!"
- First Appearance: “Killer Instinct” (1994)
- Age: 660
- Height: 5’6”
- Weight: 120lbs
- Theme: Killer Instinct - Spinal's Komplete Dynamic Theme
- Revived from the dead three separate times
- Competed in two Killer Instinct Tournaments
- Wrecked many galleons in search of Mask of the Ancients
- Legendary warrior and leader in life
- Defeated Chief Thunder’s brother, Black Eagle
- Became a movie star (non-canon) - No joke
Soul: Well time to- wait, fuck, I don't know this guy's backstory! Myth knew it but...
Soul looks over at Myth hanging from the ceiling
Mr. Stupid: To be honest, I'm jealous of him.
Soul: I hope this Flonnzeul bitch doesn't have it.
Flonnzeul: You saying that because I'm a woman?
Soul: FOR FUCK'S SAKE.
Mr. Stupid: We need help but were a Long ways from getting it...
? ? ?: NOW HOLD ON A SECOND, PLAYA.
All three of the hosts turned to see... a black man dressed in a suit and wearing glasses.
Mr. Stupid: BAH GAWD.
Flonnzeul: Wrestling is sooooo sexist.
Mr. Stupid: This is why women should stick to cooking and cleaning.
Teddy Long: Alright, playas! I came in with his backstory and everything! HOLLA HOLLA!
Mr. Stupid: HOLLAHOLLAHOLLACAUSTHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLAHOLLA.
Teddy Long: Have a nice time, playas! HOLLA HOLLA!
Mr. Stupid: Teddy please. Come back to us.
Teddy exited through the door, leaving the hosts.
Mr. Stupid: ;-;
Flonnzeul: I didn't like him anywa-
Mr. Stupid: Finish that sentence and you will regret existence.
Soul: Alright... lets see here... so, Spinal doesn't really have a backstory. Back in the day, he was a pirate but then he died. Then Ultratech came in and resurrected him.
Mr. Stupid: This guy is... S.P.O.O.K.Y.
- Either a cutlass or a scimitar
- Primary method of attack
- Can strengthen swings and stabs with spectral energy
- Buckler variant
- Very durable
- Can also be used for a charging ram attack
- Often relies on kicks
- Most infamous is his dive-kick
Mr. Stupid: Shut the fuck up and yes, I am very sexist. Tracer is one of the few woman in existence that doesn't fucking suck but shes amazing. Crawl back to Tumblr, faggot.
Soul: Spinal owns two tools used for fighting: a sword and a shield. His sword is strengthened by spectral energy and is his favorite method of attacking. His Shield is used in defense and for ramming into people. Lastly, he loves to... DIVEKICK!
- Gained by certain moves
- Power Devour (later)
- Combo Finisher (which involves blasting opponent with giant energy skull, often multiple ones)
- No. of skulls is same as level of combo when finished (max. 5)
- Can gain 1 skull by using a successful throw
Mr. Stupid: This fucker is the KING of the spooks.
Soul: He fires spooky, green skulls for projectiles and can even fire giant green skulls as a combo finisher!
Flonnzeul: Plus, if he does a throw, he can gain another skull!
Mr. Stupid: Oh, wow, no sex stu-
Flonnzeul: I want to meet my Myth baby again so we can have sex.
Soul: God has abandoned us.
Power Devour Edit
- Defensive move involving shield
- Absorbs any special attack
- Adds Energy Skulls depending on landed hits
- Cannot move or attack while using it
- Green in color
- Cost one skull per use
- Can come low, chest-height, or come down from above
Skeletal Arms Edit
- Emerge from ground
- Can punch, throw, or grab foes
- Immobilize for attack openings
- Disappears into ground
- Reappears either in front or behind opponent
- Rising uppercut move
Skull Flare Edit
- Quick burst of greenish energy from shield
- Resembles green fire
- Short range
Mr. Stupid: Spinal can teleport. That's cool, I guess but he can fire fucking skulls so who gives a shit?
Soul: He can cause Skeletal Arms to come up from the ground and strike opponents and shoot fireballs! Granted, it costs a skull but still good. Power Devour is also very useful. He can absorb any Special attacks and when it does, he even receives a skull as a bonus.
- Come into effect when fireballs hit
- Drain energy based on color
- Skulls change color when fired, effect differing by color
- Blue: drains opponent’s Shadow Meter, limiting Shadow Attacks (essentially EX Attacks)
- Yellow: drains opponent’s “Instinct”, decreasing likelihood of Instinct Mode and
- Adds drained energy to Spinal
- Effects speed up and last longer the larger the curse
- Curse can be increased in size the more fireballs are landed
Flonnzeul: Spinal can use Curse!
Mr. Stupid: Inb4 Pokemon joke.
Soul: Curses can drain opponent's Instinct which is basically there super meter or there Shadow Meter.
Searing Skulls Edit
- Spinal’s “Instinct Mode”
- Fills Spinal’s Skull limit to the max
- Regenerates skull ammo
- -1 skull every 2 seconds
- Curses gain strength and duration
Mr. Stupid: Spooooooooookyyyyyyy.
Soul: You really gotta watch out for Spinal's Instinct mode aka Searing Skulls! This mode gives Spinal multiple skulls and regenerates them every two seconds.
Other Notable Abilities Edit
- Control over the dead
- Opens portals to “underworld”
- Regularly commands animated skeletons
- Lightning control
- Usually a finisher
- Rains from the sky
- Plays dead
- Falls apart, then rebuilds himself to trick enemies
Flonnzeul: He can also open portals, control lightning and play dead! He can raise the dead... which I wish I could do so I could get Myth ba-
Soul: Hangs self
Mr. Stupid: Fuck.
- Nothing but bone
- Pretty lightweight
- Bound by the Mask of Ancients
- Sanity is questionable
- Normal attacks are pretty limited
- Very reliant on his skulls and special attacks
Flonnzeul: Like Mr. Stupid over here, Spinal's sanity is questionable.
Mr. Stupid: Wow, rude. But I agree.
Flonnzeul: Either way, hes got a bone to pick! And I wish I could pick Myth's bone.
Mr. Stupid: Please fucking help me.
Fatal Fiction Edit
Mr. Stupid: Help.
Flonnzeul: Time for a kinky Fatal-
Mr. Stupid: Its time for a Fatal Fiction, now shut the fuck up.
Outworld, Shao Kahn's arena
"MEAT WINS! FATALITY!"
The crowd went wild as Frost's body parts flew everywhere.
The man who caused this fatality was a man made purely out of flesh with an eyeball dangling out of it's socket. He had white underwear on as well.
This was Meat.
He had to wait now for his next match. Hopefully, it would be more worthy than that ice-using fool who just faced him.
"Bring on the next fighter!" Shao Kahn yelled from his throne.
Suddenly, the sky turned dark and then, a green portal that was about several feet away from Meat had appeared. Out of it emerged a white skeleton with a red bandanna. He landed down and had a Cthulhu-like shield and a cutlass in one hand.
This was Spinal.
The laugh was a weird mix of creepy and... somewhat funny.
Meat got into a combat stance and put up his dukes while Spinal merely stared him down with his cutlass ready.
The two got ready as Shao Kahn stood and yelled...
Spinal made the first move. He dashed forward, laughing like a madman the entire way. As he dashed, he suddenly fell down and straight into a green portal. Meat's eyes widened-
Only for Spinal to appear right behind him! The skeleton slashed upward, three times. With each slash, Meat was slashed higher and higher until...
Spinal finished the combo by firing a large skeleton forward! Meat flew backwards! He slowly got up before grabbing onto his own head...
Spinal's jaw almost fell off from the shocking thing Meat just did.
He ripped his own head off and tossed it like a projectile!
His head smashed into Spinal's skull and the skeleton awkwardly wobbled back from the blow.
Before he could react, however, Meat rushed him down - with his head regenerated back - and wrapped his arms around Spinal! The skeleton tried kicking him away but failed. The enforcer of Shinnok lifted Spinal before slamming him down! The skeleton bounced upward from the toss.
This was perfect.
He continued the combo with two kicks and then ending it by jumping up and kicking Spinal onto the ground and onto his back.
He looked down at Spinal who was now merely a pile of bones beneath his feet. He leaned down-
Only for Spinal to rush up and headbutt him!
Meat was now filled with confusion and shock as he was sent rocketing upward. Suddenly, the skeleton flailed his sword, catching Meat in a tornado of slashes!
Meat crashed onto his back. Some of his bones may have broken... but at least not all of them were-
Spinal stepped on his chest, shattering his entire body!
The pirate skeleton took a step back and then laughed.
Meat wanted to stand up and just slap this jerk. Here he was, in a serious fight to the death and he was being laughed at?!
Meat stood up and put up his dukes. Spinal charged forward and brought his cutlass down-
But just wasn't fast enough.
Meat sidestepped the slash, grabbed the blade and ripped it directly out of Spinal's hands.
Uh oh. Spinal thought.
Meat began jabbing at his face at an incredibly fast speed. He kept punching getting quicker and quicker with each blow before pulling back a fist and punching it into Spinal hard enough to make him stumble back!
The pirate slowly turned his head back-
Only to see a kick smash into his face. Spinal was sent flying into the wall behind him. He left a huge dent in it.
Quickly thinking, the skeleton teleported-
Meat knew what was happening. He elbowed backwards... and straight into Spinal's chest! He swiftly turned and roundhouse kicked the skeleton backwards. To end this, he ripped off his head once more and tossed it.
Spinal's defense was simple. He put up his shield... and then, a ghostly green skull appeared above his head after the head attack had failed.
Meat's head regenerated. He was confused on how the skull got there but it didn't matter. Spinal stared up... and shot the skull sky-high!
Meat would've raised a brow if he had one. What was the skeleton up to?
During this distraction, Spinal picked his blade back up. The Flesh Pit victim dashed forward-
Only for the skull from earlier to smash down onto his head!
Clutching his head in pain, Meat waited for Spinal's next attack. And oh, it was going to hurt. Spinal roared as he flew forward, shield first. He rammed into Meat and then raised his sword sky-high! Two green, skeleton arms shot up and smashed into Meat! As the hands vanished back into the ground, the skeleton slashed upwards three times. This caused Meat to go soaring.
It was time to finish this combo. Spinal shot another skull forward. The poor Kombatant felt the skull smash into him and he fell on his back, every last bone in his body now broken.
Once he stood, he realized he needed to heal. He grabbed his eyeball...
The crowd began to moan and the sound of people trying to hold back vomiting filled the crowd. They already saw this move last round and it wasn't any better than before.
Meat pulled his eyeball and then it snapped back up!
Spinal stared forward in shock. Just... what had that accomplished? Little did he know, however, Meat just regained some health. His bones felt better and he was now ready to kill again.
He dashed forward but dashed up and then, a layer of blood spawned beneath Meat's feet. He slid on the layer and slammed into Spinal, knocking him to the floor. He climbed on top of the skeleton and pulled back his fists.
He began punching him, faster and faster. He was ready to end this. He pulled back his fist and poured all of his strength into it.
Spinal wasn't ready to lose just yet. He waited...
Meat's fist came roaring down-
And Spinal tilted his head quickly and completely avoided it! He then bit down on Meat's hand as hard as possible! The Kombatant roared in pain as he tried to pry his hand from the skeleton's jaws but it was no use.
Quickly, Spinal kicked Meat in the chest and two things happened:
1) Meat was kicked off top of Spinal.
2) He ripped off Meat's hand in the process.
While it would regenerate, it was still painful. Meat was now on his back, rubbing his immense wound... and then forgot he had one last move to show Spinal.
Spinal stood over him and smirked. The pirate brought his blade down-
And hit... nothing? Strange. He could've sworn-
Suddenly, Meat's foot slammed down onto Spinal and knocked him down face-first.
Meat had just shown Spinal his Flesh Teleport to escape him.
Spinal teleported again.
He appeared at a distance away from Meat. The two stared each other down.
Meat grabbed onto his head and tossed it at his foe-
Quickly, Spinal grabbed his own skull... and ripped it off, tossing it at Meat's head!
The two collided...
And then merely fell to the ground. Both rolled awkwardly before staring each other down once more...
This was awkward.
The two heads jumped up and unleashed a hair-raising battlecry! They participated in the mother of all headbutts! The entire stadium shook from the sheer force from it all.
Suddenly, their bodies walked forward to grab their respective head-
Only to bump into each other. The two headless bodies sized each other up... before engaging in epic fisticuffs. Their fists flew at each other in a fashion similar to that of Jojo!
The heads continued their epic duel.
It was the fight of the century.
Head VS head.
Headless corpse VS headless corpse.
Truly, a fight worthy of the Gods.
The headless corpses continued their intense duel before both pulled back a fist and slammed them BOTH into each other! They both crashed down, unable to move from the sheer blow.
The two heads continued their duel before Spinal's head jumped up and came crashing down! Meat merely rolled out of the way... and then turned around. The head of Meat bit onto the back of Spinal's bandanna!
The skeleton was confused. What was Meat up to?
The Flesh Pit experiment began spinning around, moving quicker and quicker until he let go, sending Spinal's head sky-high!
Spinal looked all around and then realized... that this was his chance. He turned around and came flying back down! The mother of all headbutts was ready. Suddenly, flames wrapped around the skeleton's head and the second he hit the ground...
The entire stadium was consumed in a violent explosion! The explosion vanished... and revealed a giant crater. Meat and Spinal opened their eyes and looked around.
The people were all dead. The only survivor of the blast was Shao Kahn who just simply sat on his throne, laughing.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! AMAZING! TRULY AMAZING! But... all good things must come to an end..."
The emperor stood up and raised his arms, yelling, "FINISH HIM!"
The headless body of Meat stood up and shook it's body. It walked over to it's head and picked it up. He gently placed his head on himself and then shook it into place.
Spinal's head turned around to see his own body above him. It picked him up and then placed him on top of himself.
The two turned to each other... and glared.
This was it. The final fight.
Meat jumped up and slid on his blood to approach Spinal. The skeleton knew how to approach this. He swung down-
But then, Meat fell down and into a puddle of blood, vanishing once more!
Spinal stopped... and listened.
He turned around and laughed as he slashed at Meat, taking off his arm. The Kombatant just realized how poorly he had fucked up.
Spinal laughed as he began glowing green. His Curse was activated. He kicked Meat a few feet away and then, the six skulls around him began rapid-firing at Meat!
The skulls endlessly bombarded the Flesh Pit Experiment. Each time Spinal finished firing his entire supply of Skulls, they regenerated once more. This kept happening for ten more seconds until Spinal's curse ran out.
He looked at Meat... who was now covered in cuts and bruises, his left eye was completely gone and his jaw fell off.
However, he was still alive.
Not for long, though.
Spinal dashed forward, laughing the entire time.
He shield-bashed Meat and then slashed upward three times. Meat was launched sky-high before falling back down into a helicopter of slashes. As he was launched once more, Meat fell once more but it still wasn't over. Three giant, green skulls smashed into him, causing him to get juggled by them!
He thought it was over.
But he was so wrong.
Spinal dashed forward and once again shield bashed him! Similar to last time, he slashed upward, three times, carrying the poor Flesh Pit Experiment into the skies! Meat knew this was going to be a repeat of the last combo.
But it wasn't.
Spinal raised his arm and - in an instant - a green, skeletal arm shot up and punched Meat. The result? Meat exploded. His guts, organs, blood and... meat flew everywhere.
Spinal laughed as the blood rained down upon him.
He was victorious.
Mr. Stupid: Spooked solid.
Mr. Stupid: Help.
Myth: Anyways, so why did Spinal win?
Mr. Stupid: How are you alive?
Mr. Stupid: You too?!
Myth: We survived hanging ourselves. Somehow.
Mr. Stupid: Oh okay.
Myth: Anyways, so why did Spinal win? Simple, really. He has feats... Meat has next to none.
Soul: Spinal can launch people sky-high with a good combo so hes easily stronger. Not to mention, hes in the supersonic range of speed. Lastly, in terms of endurance, Spinal can tank beatings that launch him sky-high. So, yeah. Spinal had every physical advantage.
Myth: To be fair, Meat was easily the more level-headed fighter. Spinal is prone to laughing like a maniac. Hes likely insane. Meanwhile, Meat isn't really arrogant or have any attitude problems.
Mr. Stupid: Rip Meat.
Flonnzeul: He just had to MEAT his doom! Ha! Like how Myth will meet me in Bed-
Mr. Stupid blitzed over and punched Flonnzeul's fucking head off and punted in the night sky.
Mr. Stupid: Shes fucking dead, thank Filthy Frank.
Soul: Uhh... Spinal just had a bone to pick with Meat.
Myth: The winner is Spinal. --- --- ---
MEAT - LOSER
- +More level-headed
- +Likely smarter
- +Regeneration helped out
- -At a physical disadvantage
SPINAL - WINNER
- +Physically superior
- +Dominated at close range
- +Better ranged attacks
- +More versatile
Spinal turned to see Shao Kahn, grinning, laughing and clapping. "You, Spinal, have proven yourself a powerful warrior..."
Shao Kahn stepped forward and smiled.
"Would you like to join my forces? As a bonus, you get to kill as many people you want!"
Spinal's head shot up at those words.
"Sound like a deal?"
Spinal instantly shook his head yes. It was time to have some fun.