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Steve VS Transformouse
  • The-Myth-of-Legend
Season 1, Episode 5
Vital statistics
Air date June 24, 2015
Written by The-Myth-Of-Legends
Directed by The-Myth-Of-Legends
Episode guide
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Steve VS Transformouse is a What-If Episode of Fatal Fiction written by The-Myth-Of-Legend. It features Steve from Minecraft and Transformouse from Transformice.

Description Edit

Minecraft VS Transformice! Which wit-using warrior will win? Will Steve slay the rodent? Or will Transformouse hunt the hunter?

Interlude Edit

Soul: Are we seriously doing this?

Myth: Yes. Yes we are.

Soul: But- eh, fuck it. Got nothing better to do.

Myth: Good! Today's connection? Simple. Man VS Wild. This time, however, our two combatants rely on their sheer luck to get through the day. They live in rather primitive worlds and may not have too much experience but they can survive!

Soul: Kind of a small connection-

Myth: Steve, the king of Indie gaming...

Soul: And the Transformouse, the little critter... that can... uhhh... become a shaman for some reason.

Myth: I'm Myth, hes Soul and were here to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win...

Soul: A FATAL FICTION!

Steve Edit

  • Height: roughly 6'1"
  • Weight: unknown
  • Age: unknown (30s?)
  • Hair: Brown
  • Eyes: Blue
  • Origin: "Minecraft" (2010)
  • AKA: The Miner, Blocky Guy, the Hero of Minecraftia
  • Theme: Minecraft Theme Song

Feats Edit

  • Survived the wilderness of Minecraftia
  • Has slain numerous creatures
  • Has found a vast wealth of underground resources
  • Built multiple houses and other structures
  • Discovered how to use redstone
  • Survived journeying to the Nether
  • Defeated the Enderdragon and the Wither 

Myth: Steve... well, we know next to nothing on him. All we know is that he is blocky man stuck in the wilds of Minecraft.

Soul: He slays the Enderdragon at the end of the story so there's that- well, actually, Minecraft doesn't really have an ending. Just... never... ends. Ever.

Physicality Edit

Strength Edit

  • Can lift 64 cubic meters of pure gold with his bare hands
  • Can punch through solid diamond given time, and can knock enemies similar to him in size backwards through the air

Speed Edit

  • Average-ish running speed: roughly 13 mph
  • Can dodge arrows

Durability Edit

  • Can survive high falls and exposure to lava, albeit with limits
  • Took multiple hits: without armor: from zombies, skeletons, endermen, and the Enderdragon

Stamina Edit

  • Can run for long periods of time
  • Does not need to eat as much as a normal human

Intellect Edit

  • Can make numerous items from a variety of materials
  • Knows how to use redstone
  • Pretty darn smart

Hammerspace Edit

  • Why we are not counting everything in his inventory as physical strength

Regeneration Edit

  • Only while at high stamina
  • Skilled Swordsman and Marksman
  • Can halve incoming damage by blocking
  • Adept at Stealth

Myth: Steve is has some rather good stats. Speed-wise? He can dodge arrows and pretty casually.

Soul: Strength-wise? Dude can punch through wood and gold and diamonds and other crazy shit! And his hand doesn't break!

Myth: On top of that, Steve seems to have VERY deep pockets since he can keep so much stuff on him. Not to mention, hes durable enough to tank falls off of cliffs.

Weapons Edit

Iron Sword Edit

  • Backup sword
  • 7 damage
  • 251 durability

Diamond Sword Edit

  • Main sword
  • 8 damage
  • 1,562 durability

Bow Edit

  • For long-ranged attacks
  • Fully charged shots are more accurate, damaging, and ranged
  • At max, deals 9 damage
  • 385 durability

TNT Edit

  • Can place multiple blocks
  • Detonate after a set amount of time
  • Deals absolutely massive damage, devastating the landscape around it

Soul: Steve is no slouch in the weapons department. Hes got an Iron Sword, a blade meant for chopping at foes and blocking attacks. The Diamond Sword is essentially an Iron Sword justbetter in every way.

Myth: Steve also owns a Bow for long-ranged combat. They need to charge up for powerful blows and need arrows to fire but landing that hit is totally worth it.

Soul: Steve's last weapon? TNT! TNT allows Steve to blow away the competition! They need to detonate first but they deal MASSIVE damage!

Armor Edit

Iron Armor Edit

  • Backup armor
  • 60% damage reduction
  • 166 durability

Diamond Armor Edit

  • Best armor
  • 80% damage reduction
  • 364 durability

Myth: To defend himself, the protagonist of Minecraft holds sets of armor.

Soul: From Iron Armor to Diamond Armor, this shit keeps him nicely protected! The diamond is the superior choice, however.

Tools Edit

Flint & Steel Edit

  • Starts fires

Diamond Axe Edit

  • Chops through wood
  • Can be used as a weapon, dealing as much damage as an Iron Sword

Diamond Pickaxe Edit

  • Digs through stone, mines materials

Diamond Shovel Edit

  • Used to dig up dirt with great speed

Ender Pearl Edit

  • When thrown, teleports the user to the point of impact

Torch Edit

  • A few torches

Redstone Materials Edit

  • For building traps/other redstone devices
  • Some pretty ingenuitive creations are possible, such as arrow gatling, piston traps, etc.

Fishing Rod Edit

  • Used for fishing
  • Also can be used as a projectile that pulls enemies forward

Food Edit

  • Recovers stamina

Spare Crafting Table Edit

  • Just in case...

Myth: Steve carries Flint and Steel which he uses to light fires and detonate TNT. He also owns a Diamond Axe for chopping wood and a Diamond Shovel for digging dirt. The Diamond Pickaxe can casually mine through stone and other hard metals.

Soul: The Ender Pearl teleports Steve but can also injure him, sadly. He uses torches for lighting up areas and a Fishing Rod to... fish. Hes also got a ton of food on him! On top of that, Steve owns a Crafting Table that he can use to... well, craft.

Consumables Edit

Golden Apple Edit

  • Heals Steve for 5 seconds
  • Increases max. HP for 2 minutes

Potion of Speed Edit

  • Increases speed

Myth: Steve also has two consumable items: The Golden Apple - which heals Steve for five seconds - and the Potion of Speed.

Soul: The Speed potion obviously speeds him up.

Weaknesses Edit

  • No special abilities
  • Weapons/armor break over time

Myth: Steve is obviously not perfect. Without items... hes nothing special. Speaking of items, they break over time.

Soul: But ignore that and you have... an average Joe becoming an icon among gamers!

Steve: "Oof!"

Transformouse Edit

First Appearance: "Transformice" (2010)  Species: Mouse  Theme: Transformice Theme Song

Feats Edit

  • Navigated through countless obstacles
  • Has consistently risked its life to get cheese
  • Participated in multiple races

Soul: AWWWW. THAT THING IS SO DAMN ADORABLE.

Myth: The Transformouse... has literally no backstory. Its a mouse.

Soul: Better backstory than Not Important.

Physicality Edit

Strength and destructive capability Edit

Speed Edit

  • Can dodge small cannonballs

Durability Edit

  • Can tank cannonballs, bombs and other deadly attacks
  • Can support the weight of a giant log without getting severely injured
  • Can survive lava

Myth: Despite being a mouse, the Transformouse is actually pretty impressive. Its strong enough to carry giant boxes over it... and in terms of destructive capability? It can create a box of wood from nothing.

Soul: Whaaaat? That's weak as hell!

Myth: Hehe... so you might think. See, wood's density is 130 kg. To generate it out of nothing would at least be... small city level.

Soul: H-h-holy shit! Literally how?!

Myth: The magic of Transformice my friend. The magic of Transformice.

Soul: ...uhh... OK... umm... the Transformouse can dodge and tank small cannonballs. Also, it can tank freaking bombs!

Basic Abilities Edit

  • Wall jump
  • Corner jump
  • Balloon Walk - Lets you walk while using a balloon to carry you around

Myth: All Transformice can wall jump, corner jump and even walk on balloons.

Soul: For some reason, balloons can support their weight... so there REALLY light-weighted.

Mouse Transformations Edit

  • Small Box Transformation
  • Large Box Transformation
  • Small Plank Transformation
  • Large Plank Transformation
  • Anvil Transformation

Myth: The mice can transform themselves into various objects.

Soul: From planks of wood to boxes to anvils, this mouse just shows off its versatility everywhere!

Shaman Edit

  • Owns a bunch of items

Arrow Edit

  • Points down, alerting other mice to go there 
  • Not very useful in a fight

Spirit Edit

  • Can blast away objects and other mice

Pink Spirit Edit

  • Exactly the same as the Spirit item just pink

Balloon Edit

Can carry mice and even objects such as crates around

Rune Edit

  • Magical arrow that drifts in direction slowly
  • Can interact with mice
  • Can guide airships

Small Box Edit

Large Box Edit

Anvil Edit

  • Can slam down and break through wood

Small Plank Edit

Large Plank Edit

Ball Edit

  • Can be pushed around but overall, not very useful

Trampoline Edit

  • Can be bounced on
  • With each bounce, the Transformouse can jump higher and higher

Down Drag Edit

  • Shoots down
  • Can push away mice
  • Can break through wood and pretty casually

Right Drag Edit

  • Same thing as the down drag just moving right

Left Drag Edit

  • Same thing as the down drag and right drag just moving left \

Ice Cube Edit

  • Can freeze other mice in solid ice 

Warp In and Out Edit

  • Can teleport other mice through these holes

Conjuration Edit

  • Spawnable block that can be mass created to make freeform grounds/walls/ceilings

Myth: Transformouse also have various abilities as a Shaman. The Spirit ability creates a white flash used to blast things away.

Soul: They can generate balloons which they can ride to victory! They can even generate trampolines and freeze things in solid ice. Also, theres the "Drag" items... but the name is a lie. It doesn't really drag. More so, LAUNCH THE FUCKERS AWAY WITH A CANNONBALL-LIKE ITEM!

Myth: Lastly, the Transformouse can use the Warp ability to create teleportation holes.

Weaknesses Edit

  • Not very independent
  • Little to no combat experience
  • Most abilities aren't meant for combat
  • Cheese weighs it down
  • Sinks in water when holding cheese
  • Glass cannon

Soul: Sadly, the Transformouse has weaknesses. For one, it has plenty of help from its ally mice. Two, its got like zero combat experience other than RARELY fighting other mice.

Myth: ...And that's it.

Soul: I hope this kawaii bastard wins.

Transformouse: *Grabs cheese*

Fatal Fiction Edit

Myth: COMBATANTS BE SET. TIME FOR A...

Soul: Fatal Fiction!

--

Grasslands   In the blocky yet peaceful world of Minecraft, all was fine. The birds were chirping, the skeletons were burning in the sun... all seemed right.

(Cues: Transformice Theme Song #1)

But then... something happened. From a cave emerged a... mouse, put simply. There, however, was one unique feature... some sort of, tribal markings. There was a ring of blue paint on the mouse's forehead and a blue feather on its head. Along with that, while still not too big, it was notably larger than an ordinary mouse. 

This was a Transformouse. The small critter jumped up and looked around. Hungry, he began sniffing, hoping to find some cheese nearby. He marched forward and noticed... a nearby village. Maybe there would be some there? 

--

Village

The door opened of one of the village houses... and out stepped a man in a blue shirt with dark blue pants.

Steve had just awoken.

He rubbed his eyes and let out a small yawn and stepped down. Then he realized something. He was hungry. If he didn't get food soon, he would starve to death. Raid the crops... no, he already did that. Kill the pigs... no wait, already did that a week ago.

A sound. Like as if something squeaked. He looked down to see... a mouse with blue paintings on it dart away. The strange thing was... it wasn't blocky. This mob had a unique shape to it. Regardless, Steven may have just not known of this mob yet... so maybe it would drop food! He reached to his back and pulled out a wooden sword.

The Transformouse let out a squeak of sadness. It couldn't find any food. Then... a shadow overcasted him. It was Steve and his blade was raised over his head.

SWING!

Swiftly, the mouse avoided the swing and jumped back.

While he was small, the critter would not lose without a fight.

Steve... was pretty confused. He was being challenged by a god damn mouse. Regardless, he needed the food so... he had to kill it, no matter what. The mouse looked at Steve-

FIGHT!

(Cues: Benny Hill Theme)

-And almost instantly turned away running! Steve rolled his blocky eyes... and then dashed forward. He began rapidly swinging his wooden sword, hoping to land a blow. He missed. Multiple times.

With each miss, Steve got more and more annoyed by the rodent. He reached into his pockets... and pulled out a Bow. He pulled an arrow out, attached it to the Bow's string, pulled back the string and shot the arrow! The Transformouse's response? Simple. Jump over it. And it did just that. It hopped over the arrow casually. Steven dashed forward and swung his bow at the airborne Transformouse.

Direct hit.

The poor mouse was sent soaring and straight into a nearby lake. Steve walked over to the lake. The mouse didn't come up yet. It was already over. Sadly, the miner realized he would have to get the food. He sighed and then began swimming.

"Squeak!"

Steve darted his head up to see the Transformouse out of the lake and on the other side of the lake. It was running... into a jungle. Steve finally climbed out of the lake and walked into the jungle. There was tons of vines, bushes everywhere and trees with cocoa plants on them. Steve continued his chase, however - ignoring the cocoa plants that could have been making him cookies -  and was ready to gut that mouse alive.

(Cues: Killer Instinct Season 2 - Aganos Komplete Dynamic Theme)

Wait a minute- 

Steve saw the Transformouse! It ran through under a bush. The miner smiled. He pulled out a flint and some steel. Time to burn the mouse alive. He walked over to the bush and began rubbing the flint and the steel together.Suddenly, sparks appeared and in another flash of flames, the bush was on fire! The flames began turning the leaves into nothing more than ashes, causing smoke to fill the skies.

Inside of the bush, the mouse began squeaking in shock. The heat was intense but the Transformouse had an idea... it raised its hands and suddenly, mystical energy began generating... and then...

A flash of energy bursted outward and knocked the flames away and coated Steve in a coat of fire! The Minecraftian turned around, flailing his blocky arms in the sky as the flames began burning him. He jumped directly back in the lake. As soon as he came back up to the surface, the fires were gone but the damage had been done.

Steve hopped out of the lake-

But oh no, the Transformouse wasn't done yet. Another ball of mystical energy appeared in the sky... and then? A cannonball flew forward and slammed directly into Steve's gut! He flew back and straight into the water... only to climb out again. He pulled out his Bow and began rapid-firing arrows! He was obviously mad. I mean, after all, Steve had slain a dragon and many other deadly creatures. He would NOT lose to a damn mouse of all things. One of the arrows actually landed on the mouse's tail, pinning it to the ground.

The Minecraftian jumped out of the water and pulled out his blade. Time to end this...

He walked over and raised the Wooden Sword over his head with a shit-eating grin. Finally... the mouse would die. He brought the blade down-

POP!

Another white flash appeared, consuming Steve's vision and sending his sword flying! He regained his vision... and saw that the Transformouse had vanished. Again. He sighed. 

He walked back into the jungle-

Another cannonball flew forward and slammed directly into his skull! The sound of bones cracking filled the air... and that's when... Steve... snapped. He reached into his pockets... and pulled out a red square of TNT. Time to blow this jungle to bits.

"Squeak!"

Steve titled his head. He saw the Transformouse on top of a tree... and it was laughing at him. The mouse continued to laugh-

Only to slip and fall off of the top of the tree. Steve grinned a downright insane grin. He put his TNT down. And then another box of TNT.

And then another.

And another.

And another.

The Transformouse regained its vision from the fall-

Only to see TNT being detonated.

"...squea-"

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

The explosion blew away some trees and burnt down some of the bushes. A thick layer of cloud consumed the area... but it was over. Steve turned to leave.

But he heard something from within the smoke. The sound of energy creating something. Something big.

(Cues: Unknown Theme)

Suddenly, an aircraft made of wood with cannons on it emerged, far above Steve's head. The scariest part about? Well, two things:

1) The cannons on the aircraft were pointed at him.

2) The Transformouse looked PISSED off.

Steve turned and began running away. In retaliation, the mouse simply began rapid-firing the cannon! The cannonballs roared forward, blasting the ground below. More fire emerged, burning the jungle down.

Nearby, two cows - one a mother and the other, the son - were standing around, eating grass... then they felt heat. All around them were flames. They looked at each other... and then closed each other's eyes and got in close. They would perish with each other...

And like that, the flames consumed the cows... and it was all over for them...

And the Transformouse? Didn't give the slightest shit about those innocent cows. Cheese and killing Steve was more important.

The entire jungle was on fire. The innocent wild-life inside was brutally burnt to death as they moaned in horror. Steve, however, escaped. He came to a clearing and was back in the grasslands...

Had he lost the psycho mouse? Was it OK? He got his answer when he heard the sound of a cannonball being fired.

BOOM!

The cannonball landed at Steve's feet, instantly exploding! The poor miner was sent sky-high by the blast. He looked down and noticed something. The blast had sent him higher than the wooden warship. Excellent.

He fell... and managed to actually land on the wooden-craft! The Transformouse turned around and squeaked in shock... only to get kicked directly in the chest by Steve. The poor mouse fell off its wooden ship and onto the grasslands below...

When it stood back up, Steve had jumped down... and this time, wearing a new coat of armor. It sparkled. Diamond Armor.

(Cues: Jojo's Bizzare Adventure: All Star Battle - Dawn of Destiny)

Steve ran forward and pulled back his foot, slamming it into the Transformouse! The poor critter was sent sky-rocketing... but then it realized something. He was right above Steve. The miner looked up in confusion. Why? The Transformouse... self-destructed... or did it? Out of the smoke fell a box... and on the front of it? The mouse's head. He landed on top of Steve's body!

The miner struggled to get the box off of him but with one push of strength, he tossed it to the side.

The Transformouse realized its state of helplessness so it transformed back into a regular mouse. It jumped back... and slammed into Steve's chest! The Minecraftian fell back-

Only to get slammed into again! That's when Steve realized something. There was a crack in his armor. The mouse was damaging him. The Transformouse jumped back... and on the final blow, decimated Steve's armor! The bits of armor fell to the ground...

Steve... couldn't... express his rage. He was no longer sane. Instead, he threw his arms in the air... and no. He didn't wave them like he don't care. Instead... he began screaming in furious rage.

To describe his rage would be a simple task. He acted like a raging man, a titan of destruction, ready to decimate the small mouse beneath his feet.

(Cues: Attack on Titan - Opening Theme)

He ran forward and threw his hands down, ready to grab the mouse-

Nope. Instead, the Transformouse ran up Steve's arm as it was swung down! However, Steve wasn't going to fall. Not like this! He moved his arm so fast that the poor mouse was sent sky-high! The mouse decided to transform into a large crate, ready to crush Steve. It fell down-

Only for the miner to catch him. Morphing back into a mouse, the Transformouse looked up in horror as the man before him started breathing furiously. Steve's mind was racing with random thoughts...

Hunger...

Rage...

Those problems would finally have been dealt with... all he had to do was eat this mouse. He opened his mouth... and bit down-

Something stopped him. He looked down to notice the Transformouse holding his jaws open with its stubby arms alone! The miner stood there in shock. This bastard was full of surprises... but no matter. He would be eaten! Steve bit down harder-

But the Transformouse put more strength into its stubby hands, holding up Steve's jaws! That's when the Transformouse came up with an idea. A simple one. It simply poofed and transformed into a crate...

And Steve instantly spat him out. The box was hella large and far too big for him to swallow. The second the box hit the ground, the Transformouse instantly morphed back. Steve fell on his back from all the pain in his jaws. The Transformouse turned... but rather than finish off his opponent, he decided to let him live. After all, he was just a man that was hungry...

(Cues: Transformice Theme Song #2)

The Transformouse's stomach growled. Now he was hungry. He sniffed-

Oh my God. It was that scent. The best scent of all. The scent of cheese.

The mouse darted its head over to see a piece of cheese randomly lying in the grass. How did it get there? No idea but it was there! The mouse ran over to the piece of cheese and hauled it over it's back. A well-deserved gift for it's victory...

Steve... groaned and stood up. His stomach grumbled. He looked over to see the mouse again. No reason to fight it-

Is that... cheese? In this world? Steve thought. Was a mod downloaded? Cheese wasn't in this world!

...but it was food. Steve simply tip-toed forward.

The Transformouse hugged its large piece of cheese. It opened it's jaws... and bit down on nothing. It opened its eyes. The cheese was gone. In a panic, it turned around-

Only to see Steve above him and eating it. He gulped the whole thing down and then turned to leave. Finally... his quest for food was over.

He waved goodbye to the Transformouse, thanking it for the meal! Steve turned away and began to walk away.

...the Transformouse, however, was... not happy. At all. It began... hissing... and then it broke into a mad dash at Steve!

(Cues: Killer Instinct Season 2 - Riptor Komplete Dynamic Theme)

The Transformouse raised its arms into the sky. Suddenly, mystical energy began generating as the unaware Steve kept walking away...

Then the miner fell down and looked back in horror. His foot was frozen solid. Then he saw the pissed off Transformouse using more mystical energy. Suddenly, a cannonball-like thing appeared... and slammed into Steve's leg, shattering it and sending tiny bits of meat everywhere! Then the critter ran up to Steve.

The miner - in a panic - turned around and readied his arms to punch away the small creature. He punched forward-

And missed the mouse who landed on his face! The mouse opened its jaws... and began viciously biting Steve's face, over and over again. Blood and even skull bits began flying everywhere. Steve was screaming in utter horror... but then he remembered... nobody could save him. This was a Singleplayer map.

The biting got more vicious and vicious until the Transformouse bit into Steve's skull. Now on the inside of Steve, it ran down him and directly into his stomach!

...Steve, however, was still alive... but he wished he wasn't. The pain was unbelievable. He looked down to notice something... his stomach inflated... and then exploded as blood pored out of it! Steve watched in utter horror as the last seconds of his life was spent viewing his blood and organs rain out of his stomach like a fountain of blood. Eventually... Steve was gone. He was dead.

The Transformouse - now covered head to toe in blood - pulled out the piece of cheese that Steve had stolen from him. Sure, it was now covered in Steve's stomach fluids but it was cheese nonetheless!

K.O.!

--

Results Edit

(Cues: Transformice Theme Song #3)

Soul: OH MY GOD! BRUTALITY!  

Myth: All things considered, this fight was pretty close. Both combatants were fully capable of one-shotting the other due to Steve not having small city durability and the Transformouse being a glass cannon. 

Soul: However, while Steve was more versatile, the Transformouse's overall agility and speed won the day. On top of that, its destructive capability. While the box creation doesn't scale to most of it's attack, it does to one... the "Spirit" move! Yeah, that one flash-based technique? Its basically a magical attack which is where all of its energy comes from. So, in other words, its basically hitting with the force of the magical area where the Transformouse is withdrawing from... so in other words? SMALL CITY LEVEL FLASHES.

Myth: Along with this, due to its size, Steve would have an INSANELY hard time hitting the Transformouse.

Soul: Well, I guess Steve thought that he would Transfor-might win... and he didn't.

Fatal Fiction Winner - Transformouse

Myth: The winner is the Transformouse.

--- --- ---

STEVE - LOSER

  • +More versatile
  • +Easily more durable, even without armor
  • +More fighting equipment
  • -Simply outclassed in speed and destructive capability

TRANSFORMOUSE - WINNER

  • +Speed advantage
  • +Massive destructive capability advantage
  • +Small size let it avoid most of Steve's attacks
  • +Versatile transformations helped out

Epilogue

As the Creepers, skeletons and zombies all awoke, they smelt a stench. They walked over to see... Steve's corpse. It was bloody, missing a ton of flesh and even his face was missing (Except for the eyes which were horrifically staring in horror) and bits of his clothing was ripped up.

When they looked up, they noticed a tiny mouse looking at them. They all looked at Steve's corpse. Then the mouse...

They all turned... and then left.

Tribute Edit

  • The connections between Steve from Mindcraft and Transformouse from Transformice is that they rarely fight, reliant on luck and the environment; man vs. wild.
  • The Myth-Of-Legends states his thoughts about this match-up: Now, at first, I thought that Steve would stomp. Transformouse looked rather featless... but then I discovered the whole "Creating wood from nothing" thing and how just creating it from nothing is an insane feat. Once I found THAT out, I decided the fatality early on.
  • This is perhaps the most funnest match-up that The-Myth-Of-Legends has written, albeit the fact it wasn't the longest.

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